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Suspension Bondage is for Lazy Tops

Posted in art, NeatEvent, play, Rope Bondage, writing with tags , , , , , on July 1, 2011 by admin

They say that the key to a good blog post is saying something controversial, hence the title. It’s not a joke, though; fair warning, what you read here may anger you. Either at me, at yourself, or at your top, depending.

The lovely Symetrie rigged by the author

At Shibaricon I was a bit busy. Which is kind of like saying Ms. Bachmann’s grasp on reality is “a bit” tenuous. I followed Mollena’s Admonition and was DAMN sure I was available for those playdates that I did schedule, and also did my best to be a good Poly Rope Top and made time for both my partner DoNotGoGently and my long-distance lover Naiia.

But it wasn’t easy. In fact, it was exhausting. I was also running classes, doing the cabaret, helping out as part of the staff…so by the time DNGG and I finally got to the designated time and space for our planned suspension scene, the dungeon was packed. I was tired. We wandered around, saw a lot of hot rope people doing hot rope things, but not one empty hard point. Ditto for the other playspaces – nary a hard point free.

Rope etiquette would dictate that we simply stage our bags near a scene that was going on, wait for it to finish, and take over the point. However, remember the “busy” part above? Remember the “exhausted”? Neither of us had the reserves to wait for a scene. More than that, the stresses of Shibaricon had taken their toll, emotionally, on the two of us. We needed a good scene with each other, and we needed it sooner than later.

Well, I’m one of those who’s always talking up floorwork, right? Talking about how suspension is fine, but overrated? So we dragged our gear back to the main dungeon, claimed some floor space with a sheet, and started some rope work.

Almost immediately when the ropes went on her, DNGG closed her eyes. She wasn’t going into “rope space” as it’s commonly understood, but it was obvious to me as I bound her tighter and tighter that this was going to be an internalized experience for her, a journey in which I would be a guide and guardian but not so much a participant.

That’s not a bad thing at all; it’s one of the many rich ways that rope can provide a great experience. So I continued to tie, to expose parts of her body, stimulate them with pinches and strokes and slaps and caresses. DNGG’s reactions are subtle but beautiful, and I was watching her closely, monitoring her state of mind and sensation as best I could in a busy, loud dungeon.

After a time, I began to take her out. I don’t know how long it was – maybe forty five minutes? There hadn’t been any obvious “WE ARE DONE NOW” signs, like mind-blowing orgasms or tears or even really any communication beyond body language. In fact, I wasn’t really sure that we should have been done at that time – it was simply my best guess at when both her energy and mine were at a level where we could come out of the scene gracefully. I wasn’t sure that I’d really given her a good path through the rope, or an adequate experience. I just had to trust that she would either forgive me if I hadn’t (that’s part of being in a relationship, after all) or let me know what she needed that was more.

As I took the ropes off of her, slowly, bit by bit, a strange thought occurred to me: Damn, I really wish we could have done that suspension instead.

It seemed like a strange thought. Why would I have rather done suspension? I’m not attached to the art, not even especially good at it (though I’m adequate enough when called upon). But there was no denying it: I wished, in that moment, that I could have done suspension instead of floorwork.

Why?

I thought about it a lot, and eventually realized: suspension is dynamically easy. It has a very clear path:

  1. Negotiation
  2. Physical evaluation of bottom
  3. Physical creation/evaluation of hard point
  4. Tying of harness to bottom
  5. Suspension
  6. Monitoring/transitional positions (sometimes several if you’re awesome like Lqqkout or Wykd Dave or Claire Adams)
  7. Safe lowering to floor.
  8. Removal of ropes/Aftercare

How do you know you did a good suspension? Easy: the bottom walks away with a smile. Hell, sometimes it’s just “the bottom walks away.” If they didn’t fall, it’s a success. Anything else – beauty, orgasms, appreciation from the audience – that’s all gravy. And frankly, even “rope space” is easy, because the stresses of the body being supported in a strange way within the ropes will trigger endorphins much more quickly than many other activities, and the feeling of having the ropes taken off/aftercare neurochemically transitions into oxytocin release giving that happy feeling of belonging, being cared for (in both top AND bottom).

In short: it’s an easy way to fix your jonesing for a rope scene.

Contrast that with a floorwork rope scene:

  1. Negotiation/evaluation of bottom (setting boundaries, basically, and maybe setting a tone: “pain”, “pleasure”, “beauty”)
  2. Tie some rope
  3. Do some stuff
  4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 for a while
  5. Untie the ropes
  6. Aftercare.

It’s not as clear a picture. And while yes, I can agree that “the bottom walking away with a smile” is still a good indication of a good scene, I would argue that the other “success” marker – the bottom walking away – is not there.

It’s harder to do a good scene on the floor, because you don’t have the obvious markers showing the way.

As I realized this, I thought about the way suspension is such a big thing in the rope scene. I thought about the way new rope tops focus on gaining suspension skills (new rope bottoms, too). And I frankly have come to the conclusion that at least some of the motivation is laziness. Why go to the trouble of delving into an unclear realm such as floorwork when you can put yourself in a situation where very clear steps and very clear paths are laid out to allow you to say “I did good”?

Before the flames start, please note that I am not saying that it is impossible to have a deep and meaningful suspension scene. The artistry of people like Osada Steve, Ageha, Arisue Go, Wykd Dave, Lqqkout, Kogure, Midori, and others who do suspension regularly is undeniable and I would be the first to say so.

But I’m suggesting that when doing suspension, we riggers and bottoms might want to ask “Why?” Are we taking the easy way out? Are we substituting physics for connection, simply because it’s easier?

Or is it just me?


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Subclavian Massage Technique Works!

Posted in community, cool people, play, Rope Bondage, ropecast on May 2, 2011 by admin

This just in: it works!

Gray,

Thanks for sharing Voron’s massage technique for the box tie.  I was happily suspending a lovely naked woman, last night.  She, foolishly, ignored tingling in he left hand until it was “asleep”.  I applied the massage and she had feeling back, right away!  I took her down and out of the ropes and continued the massage.  Her hand felt “normal” within a minute.

My “rope god” status was elevated by the 3 young, beautiful women in my living room.  All of who, went home to fuck their ropeless boyfriends, not me.  Oh well, I guess I shouldn’t have played down the whole “rope god” thing.

Thanks for all the info you share.  Your podcast riches the rope community.

This email from Kale is referring to the video below (if you missed it the first time). There actually are a couple of more techniques coming down the pipe…I was trying to be all sneaky and release them first on Fetlife to encourage people to support that site but I think I’ll just be putting them out there as part of the Ropecast.

Anyone else try it out and have it work?

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Arden Leigh’s “The Seduction Manual”

Posted in community, cool people, play, writing on March 30, 2011 by admin

The Seduction Manual by Arden Leigh

It’s sometimes hard to write a review for a friend. I mean, can you really be objective? It’s easy in a one-on-one “Hey, page 189 has a typo, and I think you would be clearer in this paragraph if you made it a bullet list like you did over in chapter 8…” But in a public venue? That’s when it gets tricky.

Especially when it’s a subject that you have, at best, mixed feelings about. I’ve read “The Game” and endured several research-trips into “seduction blogs” and podcasts. I’ve also encountered enough of “The Rules” to consider both to be pretty distasteful. Seduction is not my thing, at least as those people see it; I’m about being authentic, serendipitous, enjoying things as they happen. I have never gone into a room, set my eye on someone, and thought “I’m going to go home with that person.”

At least not consciously. And that, frankly, might be a character flaw. That’s what Arden is providing in The Seduction Manual. Even though she borrows from the vocabulary of those other game-players, using words like “target” and “strategies” and “added value” – there is a constant theme of self-improvement running under every practical instruction. It’s even in the structure of the book, with the first chapters being about self-discovery, accentuating your positive traits, and developing your own confidence in your desirability. She even delves into the process of creating an environment of seduction in your home, long before she ever starts on how to acquire your “target.”

The middle part of the book is much more about interactions and strategies, and this is where I was pushing my own comfort zone. I’d love to think that every great conversation, every successful date, every hot sweaty post-coital grin was a unique confluence of coincidental factors that culminated in this fated moment of bliss. It would be nice, wouldn’t it?

Maybe not, Arden points out. Using many examples as both seducer and seduced, she outlines not only the how of getting into someone’s awareness but also makes a pretty convincing argument of the why: why it is actually more flattering to know that someone is intentionally making the effort to learn about you, to figure out what you need, to make themselves a part of your dream. They are good and effective strategies; in fact, in a couple of anecdotes I realize that they’ve worked on me, quite enjoyably.

“The persuasive element of seduction, like anything else, is a tool… i didn’t write this book so that women could learn how to be soulless harpies breaking men’s hearts everywhere they go; i wrote it so that women could learn to be better lovers and better partners, both for themselves and the men they encounter. i wrote it so that more people could end up happier.” –Arden Leigh, The Seduction Manual

There are two possible flaws, from my point of view, in the book. One is that it is written with a target audience of women looking for men, and as such there are occasional generalizations and heteronormative assumptions that tend to raise my sex-positive hackles now and again. However, it’s silly to expect one book to be all things to all people. If anything, the fault would lie with the reader who failed to see beyond the conventions of language to find the gems of wisdom throughout that apply to every relationship, regardless of sexuality or gender. At the same time, I can’t help but hope she writes a similar manual for men, for queers, for leather daddies and dykes and more…

That brings up the second possible flaw: a great deal of the book’s anecdotes are predicated on Arden’s experience as a pro-domme. One of the best pro-domme’s out there, in fact, and therein lies enough of a tale to write an entire other book (which, she tells us, she has). But if kinky sex, power-exchange relationships, or sex work in general squicks a person, they may find it difficult to get past the environment of the stories to really see the meaning behind them. I could be wrong about this; as a queer sex-positive kinky ninja sex poodle, I loved hearing about the fetish parties and client sessions. But I do worry that others might use that as a grounds for dismissing her frank and open point of view. If so, it’s their loss.

It’s in the final chapters of the book that I really found Arden’s writing exceptional. She brings the practice of seduction past “closing the deal” – i.e., sex and delves into the philosophy of life behind the whole process. Seduction is not for the faint of heart, and not a journey to be taken lightly, she warns.  Arden bares her own past, her own faux-pas, her own dreams and wishes at a personal level that made me want to stand up and cheer. “I will say yes to being broken and crushed,” she says, “if it means I’m fully living.” This is where the book goes beyond being a manual and becomes a manifesto, a barbaric yawp at the risky world of dating with all its joys, pitfalls, and superficial beauty.

Gentlemen, if you find this book on your lover’s shelf, know this: you never stood a chance. The Seduction Manual gave her everything she needed to attract, acquire, captivate, and occupy your mind with a wonderful, inexorable obsession. It wasn’t fate, it wasn’t kismet, it was a foregone conclusion the minute she set out to put Arden’s guidelines into practice. You might as well surrender to the inevitable, because she’s got you right where you want her.

Lucky guy.

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Why?

Posted in play, Rope Bondage with tags , , , , , on February 25, 2011 by admin

Graydancer & Ms. Lily Discuss the Why's of Flogging at Club Inferno

As I took some alone time this morning to read another chapter in Gar Reynolds’ excellent Naked Presenter, he talked about the first question that should be asked before beginning to work on any presentation: Why?

It makes sense. Many people have the what and know the how but don’t bother to figure out why their intended audience should care. As usual, my mind went to the kink scene, and in particular the scenes that I’ve seen that are just that: stunts, or using equipment just because it’s there, or just because that’s what was taught that day. Nothing wrong with that, but in my opinion that’s called “practice”, and isn’t the mind-blowing connection that so many people long for in their kink (myself included).

So, somewhere between the negotiation and checking all your safety gear, why not try asking these five questions:

  • Why does this person want to play?
  • Why do I want to play with this person?
  • Why does this person want to play with me?
  • Why am I choosing this tool/space/kink?
  • Why does this turn me on?

Ask the questions. Listen to the answers. If they’re not good enough…maybe something needs to change. Maybe not. But at least you have a more clear idea of why you’re doing things, something more than “…because that’s what kinky people do.”

As Lee Harrington put it: “If you don’t jack off to flogging, why the fuck are you doing it?”

Why?

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The Numbers of Kink

Posted in community, cool people, play, proporn, Rope Bondage, sex education on February 24, 2011 by admin

You may have heard: recently I joined the staff of the Kink Academy (affiliate link) as their “Editor Extraordinaire”. I get to get my hands dirty with video again, creating short segments of the best sex educators around sharing their stuff. Yesterday I edited a piece on eye contact for intimacy, a piece on warming up your partner’s ass for anal play, and a piece on stretching for bottoms preparing to be bound.

Good stuff. And all yours for the introductory price of $9.95/month, or $75 a year.

The funny thing is, there are people who not only think that’s too much, there are people who apparently harass Kali for daring to charge at all. There seems to be some anathema to the idea of making a profit while educating.

So let me get this straight:

People are willing to pay, oh, let’s say $125 for an event (we’ll assume it’s early bird pricing). This is an event that lasts one weekend, during which time, if they’re lucky, they’ll get to sit through, oh, ten classes (that’s assuming they can crawl out of bed after a play party). The event may have a huge number of great presenters, but you can only sit in their classes one at a time. And while you can still take notes in classes (that hasn’t been banned – yet) you can’t record what happens in any form. Not audio, not pics, certainly not video.

You pay $200-$450 for hotel and food.

You walk into the vendor area and drop $175 for a flogger, $300 for a corset, and $45 for those fantastic four-inch Ingrid stilettoes from the Shoe Guy. (Quick question: did you see anyone yelling at any of the vendors for “profiting from other people’s sexuality”?).

Total cost for a great weekend? Around $1000. With some material goods you can keep, but mostly the joy of an experience. I got to talk to Mollena Williams. I got to watch Scott Smith. I learned photography from David Lawrence. I was part of Shibaricon 2011!

Great presenters, all. The event was full of ‘em. And, with a few exceptions, most weren’t paid a dime for their experience or teaching time. If they were lucky they had books or DVDs they could hawk at their classes, but if not, well, then your thanks was all the reward they asked for.

And that’s fine, as far as it goes. What I don’t get is why someone who is passionate enough about their kink to drop a grand on a weekend that will fade into memory balks at paying $75 (that’s what, half a flogger?) for a full year of over 50 educators – the same ones you see at the events – teaching on a huge variety of subjects whenever you want. You can check out their free videos, too, which give a pretty good taste of what’s inside, and are also a free resource in and of themselves.

Madison Young Teaches "Zen Submissive"

It’s streaming video. You can watch Madison Young’s oral sex tips over and over and over (and believe me, you will want to). It’s there when you need it, a refresher before a play date, an exploration into a new kink, or even to check out a presenter who’s going to be at the next event you’re at. Four new videos a week, all year long, never archived: you can join today and have literally hours of explicit kinky instruction at your disposal.

Oh, and every single person involved in that video was paid for their time. The presenters and the models. Paid quite well, in fact, because Kink Academy believes their time and knowledge are valuable and they deserve to be rewarded for it. When you join Kink Academy, you are saying thanks to the presenters in a directly financial way.

Me and Raven Lightholme (of FreedomofFetish.com) talking about Making Out

I’m not saying you should join, mind you. That would be disingenuous, as I’ve got an obviously personal stake in the matter. No, I just want people to stop pretending that money isn’t support, and that somehow going to an event that doesn’t pay presenters is more valid than joining an educational site that does.

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The Leap

Posted in art, play, writing on February 4, 2011 by admin

Last night, as I was trying to get to the Red Umbrella Project, I had spent a bit too long chatting with the charming Arden. So my connection on the subway, from the A line to the B, was pretty tight. Getting off the A line, I ran down the stairs to what I thought was the B line and saw a train right there, doors open.

I ran, doing the traditional grand jete over the threshold, and as the doors closed behind me, I realized I had no idea what train I was on. I hadn’t bothered to look; the door was open, and I just leaped through.

Turned out it was the B, and I made it ok. But there was that moment of thrill, of the unknown, of just going for it.

It was a good reminder for life in general. Sometimes, to get where you wanna go, you just gotta jump.

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The 10 Commandments of Kink

Posted in community, play, writing on February 2, 2011 by admin

As revealed to Graydancer, Ninja Sex Poodle & Ronin of Love

1. And it came to pass that in that land there were an abundance of people who did delight in sharing their kink one with another.

2. And while it was agreed that their kinks had oft been begotten by the Old Guard, verily all of their efforts to define that Old Guard fell like ripe seeds upon barren soil, bearing no fruit and causing much bitterness and strife and letters to the editor. And as none were happy with this, they stopped. And much rejoicing was heard amongst teh interwebs.

4. And while it was generally agreed upon that because of this nebulousness of form amongst our kinky forebears and foredykes and foredaddies and foreboys and forebois and thou gettest the idea, it was also evident to all that certain commonalities did exist among the communities.

5. Whereupon it came to pass in the City of Wind, amongst the flock of the prophet Howie and his many ministers and ministrixes, a small band of pansexuals did gather together to partake of the sacraments of sushi.

6. And amongst this group some did top and some did bottom and some did both, and there were players of the edge and they who of a surety were n00bs, and yet they did dwell together in that place of raw fish and edamame in harmony and laughter.

7. Verily the sushi was shared by Kimono Boy and Painslut alike, and from the cleansing power of wasabi their minds were collectively opened to revelation.

8. For while there is no one true way, yet there is still common experience shared by those who do kink in public.

9. And ten commandments were handed down from their collective soylent souls, “commandments” being defined as in any kinky endeavor as agreed upon by those parties consenting to play one with another.

10. The first of these commandments was caused by the envy of many for the member of their party whose dance card did begin with Saint Claire of Adams that night. And it was rendered thus:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors play date.

11. And the second commandment was inspired by the travails of good Saint Jack McGeorge, who saith,

Thou shalt not out another’s kink.

12. New words were deemed necessary then to describe those who sin through disacceptance of another’s kink:

Thou shalt not commit judgery.

13. The fourth commandment, thus:

Thou shalt honor the safeword and keep it wholly;
Neither shalt thou utter the safeword in vain.

14. The fifth commandment was the shortest, needing no explanation:

Ouch is not a safeword.

15. When thou walkest amongst those who sceneth, remember well the sixth commandment:

Thou shalt not interrupt.

16. Of two parts was the seventh commandment, each the helpmeet of the other:

Thou shalt ask for what thee wants,
And thou shalt get what thee asketh for.

17. Many sad and sorrowful word formed the eighth commandment and were put therein:

Thou shalt not stand
in the corner of the dungeon
by thyself
and crack thy singletail all night long.

Verily the seraph Sheryn did find fewer words to fit in the eighth commandment, rendering it thusly:

Thou shalt not be creepy.

18. With much respect and honor for the past did the ninth commandment come to be:

Unless thy name is Chuck Renslow,
Thou art probably not Old Guard.

19. The final commandment of kind was directed to those who believe they are Gods, and have forsaken the knowledge that while that may be true, there have been many Gods before and there will of a surety be many after. The tenth commandment is for all who sceneth:

Thine ego must fit
within a 4000 square foot dungeon,
Lest it afflict thy fellows
with the awful stench
Of unwashed hubris.

20. And upon the uttering of the tenth commandment, those assembled were filled with the desire to leave the land of sushi and spread their floggers and cheeks wheresoever the opportunity presenteth, being mindful of the commandments and keeping them wholly.

21. And it was good.

Previously published in Protocols, a Variety of Views, edited by Robert Rubel, PhD. Apologies to those whose religious beliefs do not have room for parody, and will therefore be offended by this.

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The Dark Odyssey WinterFire Cabaret Social!

Posted in art, community, event, NeatEvent, play, Rope Bondage on January 28, 2011 by admin

To say I’m looking forward to DOWF would be an understatement. The organizers approached me and asked if I would help with a fund raiser for NCSF. Of course I agreed, and they let me come up with this format (which has been a part of a few Shibaricons, as well). This is what “America’s Got Talent” would be like if there wasn’t an FCC.

The First-Ever Winter Fire Cabaret Social!

Got Talent? Come and share!

Hosted By Graydancer
Get to know a different side of your fellow travelers in this Dark Odyssey at the Winterfire Cabaret. This is the Talent Show your mother warned you about, with kinksters showing off their skills in short, lively acts guaranteed to amaze, or at least amuse, everyone.

Hosted by Graydancer, the Cabaret is an environment designed for casual entertainment, with professional talent and talented amateurs lending their grace and skill to the stage. Juggling! Music! Kilted kicklines! Dancing bears! Stop in, enjoy the acts, and take a moment to bid in a round of the NCSF Lightning Auction between acts.

Interested in performing in this vaudeville-style stage show? Contact Graydancer@gmail.com. Guaranteed to be fun for the whole fami- well, fun for the whole community, anyway. Hope to see you there!

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Agley Play

Posted in community, play, Rope Bondage on January 25, 2011 by admin

“Well, I’m guessing that didn’t go exactly as you expected,” she murmured into my chest. Her voice was fuzzy with happy afterglow of rope and orgasm-induced endorphins.

My natural inclination towards sarcasm shaped my response. “Oh, no. I completely expected that reaction to the hood. It was all according to my Domly plan.” I was talking about the bit of edge play I’d pushed with my holiday gift to her. It was a Darlex bondage hood, with an opening for a mouth and a ponytail and nothing else. For a girl who had claustrophobic issues as well as no interest in humiliation or objectification, it was truly nudging at her boundaries. It had taken a few tries to get it on right, and then she had lasted quite a while, pleasuring me, before the last ropes on her ankles had pushed her over the edge into needing to have it off.

“Oh, I’m not talking about the hood,” she said. “That was…hard, but I definitely want to try it again.” Thank you, WinterFetish, I thought, glad that my Christmas present wasn’t going to be relegated to the bottom of the toy drawer. I also gave her a grateful squeeze, because that’s the definition of courage; being scared, and facing it anyway because it might be worth it.

And besides, removing the hood had only been a minor pause in the larger scene. We’d gone on to a nice ebi endurance tie culminating with some mutually satisfactory oral pleasure and even scored a simultaneous orgasm. “We rock!” I said to her, and gave her a high five.

She waved at the bedside table. “No, I was talking about the butt plug, the video camera, the condoms, the Tenga…” Not to mention the MauiKink cane and punishment rod in my suitcase, I thought.

But I thought about what she said, and gave it a serious answer. “Well…I’m not the kind of top who plans every bit of a scene step-by-step. I have some goals, of course, but I’m more about…creating an environment.” I waved at the toys. “I create a space where things can happen, and if some of them require props, it’s good to have them handy. If they’re not used, but we had a good time,” I hugged her again, “then it’s all good.”

And that’s important, I think, for good play, or even just for good life. Because sometimes you plan things very completely, such as

[THREE PARAGRAPHS OF SARCASTIC SNARK BORDERING ON PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE REDACTED]

…you can only hold her shaking hand as she weeps with frustrated energies and humiliated rage at being so dismissed by this person she trusted. You put away your own sense of failure, at having told her to put her trust in the wrong person, and you do your best to make it a good evening anyway – with Jack & Ginger and an Acid cigar and snuggles on the couch of the cigar bar.

Eventually you and she can focus on what you did gain from the evening: the knowledge that even when things gang aft a-fuckin’-gley, you’ve already got a relationship that can absorb it and bounce back, still full of the richness of joy and play and the good stuff.

Plans are all well and good. But a loving, open heart trumps them, agley or not, and thank the gods for that.

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Discovering New Limits

Posted in NeatEvent, play, Rope Bondage, sex education on January 19, 2011 by admin

I’m going to be processing the experience of Midori’s Rope Dojo for quite some time – pages of notes in my moleskine, variations on ties I’ve been using for years as well as new ties I’ve never thought of uses for (dildo harness, here we cum…). There was also the transcendent beauty and power of the scene she did with Delano…

Sorry. Lost in the memory there for a bit. Suffice to say, it was hot. Powerful. Nifty. And any scene that starts with a Traditional Japanese Cthulthu harness has gotta be good.*

One of the most valuable parts of the dojo, and part of what makes it more than just a “how to tie that knot” experience, is the section on negotiating rope scenes. It’s thorough and fun and much hotter, in my opinion, than an 18-page questionnaire or even a flippant “So, you wanna try some stuff?” As part of the process, one person will “propose” a scene – a bit like the “Very Short Story” technique – and then the other person will temporize it, explaining what they’d like more of, less of, different.

In the second round of practicing, when we had a one-minute limit to both propose and edit, my conversation with my partner (a cis-male het-presenting rope top) went something like this:

Me: You know, I’ve been frustrated at the fact that I can’t seem to find a way to enjoy the ropes on my body. Since you’re into tying the fancy Japanese style stuff, perhaps we could do a scene where you gradually put me in more and more complex, layered bondage. I enjoy a struggle, so being able to push against it might be fun, kind of like a military interrogation/torture kind of thing. I think I’d also like to involve my partner DoNotGoGently, since I also tend to enjoy whatever scene I’m in more if there is a sexual component. Then we could -”

Delano: TIME! Ok, Person B, you have one minute to edit that scene. Go!

Person B: Well, I can get with most of what you said. I like the layers of bondage, and DoNotGoGently would be great to have there. There’s just one thing that doesn’t really work for me…that’s the whole military bondage thing. I’m not really interested in interrogation or torture. I’m more interested in making the successive layers of bondage more interesting through the use of different materials…

Me: Oh, like vet wrap, duct tape…

Person B: No, I was thinking more along the lines of strips of pig flesh.

Me: …

Delano: TIME!

Even now, I’m still trying to parse that. Bacon? Pigskin leather? Much as I’d like to say yes, that’s what he meant, it’s not what he said. He said “strips of pig flesh.”

I confess. He’s a nice guy. A pleasant person. I spent time in wonderful conversations with him after.

But I’m damn glad that was just a practice negotiation. Because frankly, he scares me.

Pig flesh. Hard limit. Cue rainbow, stars, harp sound effect: The More You Know.

*maybe you had to be there.

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