Archive for the community Category

Wanton Wednesday: “It’s Own Reward”

Posted in community, Wanton Wednesday on September 28, 2011 by admin

Read all the Wank Wednesday erotic stories for Patience on Ruby Kiddell’s blog

Monsieur stopped her before she took off the coat. “Patience, mademoiselle.” He pulled it back up over her shoulders and straightened the lapels as she looked at him. Her pale blue eyes were slightly pleading, mostly incredulous, trying to convey the urgency of her need. I want to be naked. I want rope. Now.

He ignored the gaze, or perhaps didn’t notice it at all. She wasn’t sure which turned her on more; it was that intensity of focus that she found so attractive, and she fought to keep her long fingers from fidgeting with the short skirt that covered her leggings. He was behind her, now, and the jacket was sliding off, slowly, the fine wool tickling the skin of her back over the silken camisole. He deliberately folded the jacket and laid it on the dresser, then ran his fingers around her waistband, slowly searching for the zipper. The soft pressure of his fingers was maddening, and she began to point with her left hand to her hip. He slapped her wrist with a stinging reprimand and she dropped it back to her side. The pain filled her eyes with shamed tears and her pussy throbbed. 

“Patience,” he said again, in a voice filled with the same.

So it went, piece by piece, skirt, camisole, brassiere, garters, stocking and stockings, the latter removed inch by inch down each leg, his hands stroking without intent, his gaze intense on every inch of her pale skin as it was revealed. As he slid his fingers inside the back of her panties, levering them out and down over her ass, she watched his face. She knew he could feel the dampness there, the evidence of her arousal, as if the flush of her face, the rise and fall of her breasts or the crinkled skin of the erect nipples at the tip of each weren’t enough. 

He showed no reaction at all as he folded the panties, and she felt a stab of uncertainty. She didn’t want complications, but surely he got something out of this exchange, her body for his hands? Then he looked in her eyes, a wise, amused smile on his face, and she flushed again, realizing that he knew she’d been watching him, and that unlike her, his emotions and desires were his to show or not as he wished. That smile was full of pleasure at the sight of her naked and flushed before him, body aroused at tit and pussy and the tip of her clit peeking wetly from the shaven cleft. 

He chuckled, reaching up and patting her cheek, and she fought not to turn into that caress involuntarily, hungry for the touch of those strong hands. “Patience,” he had said, and patient she would be, half out of a desire to obey and half out of a desire to show him that it made no difference to her. A lie, to be sure, but it is of such things that she saw the self in the mirror she thought she wanted to see. Not the self that was here, watching him carefully unknot the rope, feeling the first strands stretch across her body. Slowly, so slowly, inch by inch uncoiling from the neat packages into a complex cage of lust and tension covering and exposing her at the same time. This knot pressed into her hip, with a delicious tangy pain that seemed to fog her mind, a clouded miasma that smelled of hemp and her desire and the masculinity of his presence, occasionally lit by pleasure flashes as a rope was drawn tighter, pulled rough across a nipple, the side of her neck, her inner thigh. The rope pulled her out of herself and into a different space, where she could let the hunger and desire rule her, because the rope – his rope- held them in check, and held the rest of her life at bay.

Twice she cried out as he tied her, once moving her body not away but toward the soft rope that brushed her labia, tantalizing, and once as his strong fingers pulled her hair, moving her head to the side with an inexorable control that approached brutality. Both times he acknowledged her need with that same word, a simple “Patience,” and somehow she found it, sinking deeper into the world of her body and the bindings that held her desperate need suspended and open before him.

Then he stopped tying, and she felt him move away. There was no fear- there was no room for fear in the stillness that her mind had become. It was not peace, though, it was a state of constant, helpless need, knowing he had what she wanted, knowing she was powerless to bring it any faster. She hung there in the ropes, eyes shut in a desperate static hunger that throbbed with every beat of her heart through the ropes that connected her cunt and her mind and her soul into a solitary massive want.

She felt him behind her. She felt his satisfaction even before the soft murmur of “Good, pet, good…” Her mouth opened in silent ecstasy as his fingers filled her, finally drove deep into her, and the waves of orgasm carried the want and need away in bright explosions that felt like they blew thru the top of her skull. There was no more thought, just pleasure as she basked in the reward of his attention and her hard-won patience.

Why is it…

Posted in community on May 11, 2011 by admin

Why is it that when I ask for a pair of hands, a brain comes attached? – Henry Ford, as quoted in The Personal MBA

Ran across this quote this morning, and my brain automatically started going through permutations that ranged from the silly to the scandalous to the profound.

  • Why is it that when I ask for a pair of tits, a brain comes attached?
  • Why is it that when I ask for a pair of hands, a cock comes attached?
  • Why is it that when I ask for a cock, a dick comes attached?
  • Why is it that when I ask for polyamory, a metamour comes attached?
  • Why is it that when I ask for monogamy, compromise comes attached?
  • Why is it that when I ask for a (poly or mono) relationship, difficult conversations come attached?
  • Why is it that when I ask for a decision, a consequence comes attached?
  • Why is it that when I ask for an experience, a memory comes attached?

Got any more? I’m going to put it out to the twitterverse under a #whyisit tag. And please, these will, by their nature, stereotypical and politically incorrect. Be clever: refute their argument with your own “why is it?”

If you can’t think of one that refutes it…well, maybe you’ve learned something.

Subclavian Massage Technique Works!

Posted in community, cool people, play, Rope Bondage, ropecast on May 2, 2011 by admin

This just in: it works!

Gray,

Thanks for sharing Voron’s massage technique for the box tie.  I was happily suspending a lovely naked woman, last night.  She, foolishly, ignored tingling in he left hand until it was “asleep”.  I applied the massage and she had feeling back, right away!  I took her down and out of the ropes and continued the massage.  Her hand felt “normal” within a minute.

My “rope god” status was elevated by the 3 young, beautiful women in my living room.  All of who, went home to fuck their ropeless boyfriends, not me.  Oh well, I guess I shouldn’t have played down the whole “rope god” thing.

Thanks for all the info you share.  Your podcast riches the rope community.

This email from Kale is referring to the video below (if you missed it the first time). There actually are a couple of more techniques coming down the pipe…I was trying to be all sneaky and release them first on Fetlife to encourage people to support that site but I think I’ll just be putting them out there as part of the Ropecast.

Anyone else try it out and have it work?

Save Wicked Grounds & Get a GRUE Lifetime Pass!

Posted in community, cool people, proporn, sex education with tags , on April 18, 2011 by admin

Many people have heard of the little piece of heaven in San Francisco that is Wicked Grounds. It’s a bit of a pilgrimage, a kind of kinky Mecca that those who do what we do can go and sit and breathe and feel like we can actually be ourselves, in all our perversity, without worrying if the owners and other patrons will take offense. Even if you never go there, *knowing* that such a place exists makes the world a bit of a better place, in my opinion.

However, turns out it’s expensive to run a café in San Francisco (Who knew?). You can click here for the backstory, or just go right to the donation page…but first, let me engage in a little of my dream of being a Kinky Willy Wonka.

I have commissioned the creation of:

Five THREE GRUEden Tickets

These will be actual golden tickets with your name on them in fancy (like, papyrus or maybe even Herculanum) lettering and will be a free pass to any GRUE.

Admission only, mind you. Ya gotta get there yerself, find a roof for your head, and feed yourself a bit. But as far as cost of admission? This GRUEden ticket will get you in ANY GRUE, ANYWHERE in the world. Seattle? St. Louis? Amsterdam? Berlin? London? Connecticut? Vancouver? Yup, you’re in.

And you’re extra cool, because there are only five of them only three of them left. First pledged, first served.

I tried to arrange to have them hidden in the thighs of willing and supple rope bottoms throughout the world, but wiser minds convinced me that it might be better to tie it in to the efforts to save my favorite place, Wicked Grounds. So here’s the deal:

If you pledge (and this needs to be a REAL pledge, mind you) $500 to Wicked Grounds, you can have a GRUEden Ticket. Just do like Pete (a recent attendee at the GRUE Pitt) did, and note on your donation: *This is for a GRUEden Ticket*.

Did you catch that? He already got one, minutes after I announced it at the GRUE Pitt.

Which means there are only four three left.

(Tori Storii bought one too.)

Wait a minute, Graydancer, you ask, What guarantee do I have that there will be enough GRUEs in the future to cover the cost of the GRUEden Ticket?

None. There are eight GRUEs definitely planned thru 2012, and another half-dozen in the works, but there is no guarantee that even if you went to all of the rest of the GRUEs, you would make back your investment.

In fact, it’s almost like we’re actually focusing more on helping out our kinky community rather than just trying to get commercial value for a buck! I never was a very good capitalist.

Note that the way the pledge works is much like Kickstarter.com: Wicked Grounds needs to get $50,000 in pledges before your pledge would actually be called due. So there is a chance that you could pledge the $500 and never be called on to cough it up. Guess what? Even if that happens (*personally, I’d plan on paying it; as of this writing, they are about halfway there*) your GRUEden Ticket will be honored.

See what I mean? Lousy capitalist.

If you have more questions, then you’re probably making it too complicated. It’s simple:

  • Go here.
  • Pledge $500 that you have every intention of paying towards the preservation of Wicked Grounds.
  • Make a note on the page: This is for a GRUEden Ticket. We will get it to you before the next GRUE, in Seattle in August.

That’s it. And if GRUEs aren’t your thing, I believe Shibaricon and other events are going to be offering special deals as well.

Save Wicked Grounds.

It’s the café we wish we had next door.

Arden Leigh’s “The Seduction Manual”

Posted in community, cool people, play, writing on March 30, 2011 by admin

The Seduction Manual by Arden Leigh

It’s sometimes hard to write a review for a friend. I mean, can you really be objective? It’s easy in a one-on-one “Hey, page 189 has a typo, and I think you would be clearer in this paragraph if you made it a bullet list like you did over in chapter 8…” But in a public venue? That’s when it gets tricky.

Especially when it’s a subject that you have, at best, mixed feelings about. I’ve read “The Game” and endured several research-trips into “seduction blogs” and podcasts. I’ve also encountered enough of “The Rules” to consider both to be pretty distasteful. Seduction is not my thing, at least as those people see it; I’m about being authentic, serendipitous, enjoying things as they happen. I have never gone into a room, set my eye on someone, and thought “I’m going to go home with that person.”

At least not consciously. And that, frankly, might be a character flaw. That’s what Arden is providing in The Seduction Manual. Even though she borrows from the vocabulary of those other game-players, using words like “target” and “strategies” and “added value” – there is a constant theme of self-improvement running under every practical instruction. It’s even in the structure of the book, with the first chapters being about self-discovery, accentuating your positive traits, and developing your own confidence in your desirability. She even delves into the process of creating an environment of seduction in your home, long before she ever starts on how to acquire your “target.”

The middle part of the book is much more about interactions and strategies, and this is where I was pushing my own comfort zone. I’d love to think that every great conversation, every successful date, every hot sweaty post-coital grin was a unique confluence of coincidental factors that culminated in this fated moment of bliss. It would be nice, wouldn’t it?

Maybe not, Arden points out. Using many examples as both seducer and seduced, she outlines not only the how of getting into someone’s awareness but also makes a pretty convincing argument of the why: why it is actually more flattering to know that someone is intentionally making the effort to learn about you, to figure out what you need, to make themselves a part of your dream. They are good and effective strategies; in fact, in a couple of anecdotes I realize that they’ve worked on me, quite enjoyably.

The persuasive element of seduction, like anything else, is a tool… i didn’t write this book so that women could learn how to be soulless harpies breaking men’s hearts everywhere they go; i wrote it so that women could learn to be better lovers and better partners, both for themselves and the men they encounter. i wrote it so that more people could end up happier.” –Arden Leigh, The Seduction Manual

There are two possible flaws, from my point of view, in the book. One is that it is written with a target audience of women looking for men, and as such there are occasional generalizations and heteronormative assumptions that tend to raise my sex-positive hackles now and again. However, it’s silly to expect one book to be all things to all people. If anything, the fault would lie with the reader who failed to see beyond the conventions of language to find the gems of wisdom throughout that apply to every relationship, regardless of sexuality or gender. At the same time, I can’t help but hope she writes a similar manual for men, for queers, for leather daddies and dykes and more…

That brings up the second possible flaw: a great deal of the book’s anecdotes are predicated on Arden’s experience as a pro-domme. One of the best pro-domme’s out there, in fact, and therein lies enough of a tale to write an entire other book (which, she tells us, she has). But if kinky sex, power-exchange relationships, or sex work in general squicks a person, they may find it difficult to get past the environment of the stories to really see the meaning behind them. I could be wrong about this; as a queer sex-positive kinky ninja sex poodle, I loved hearing about the fetish parties and client sessions. But I do worry that others might use that as a grounds for dismissing her frank and open point of view. If so, it’s their loss.

It’s in the final chapters of the book that I really found Arden’s writing exceptional. She brings the practice of seduction past “closing the deal” – i.e., sex and delves into the philosophy of life behind the whole process. Seduction is not for the faint of heart, and not a journey to be taken lightly, she warns.  Arden bares her own past, her own faux-pas, her own dreams and wishes at a personal level that made me want to stand up and cheer. “I will say yes to being broken and crushed,” she says, “if it means I’m fully living.” This is where the book goes beyond being a manual and becomes a manifesto, a barbaric yawp at the risky world of dating with all its joys, pitfalls, and superficial beauty.

Gentlemen, if you find this book on your lover’s shelf, know this: you never stood a chance. The Seduction Manual gave her everything she needed to attract, acquire, captivate, and occupy your mind with a wonderful, inexorable obsession. It wasn’t fate, it wasn’t kismet, it was a foregone conclusion the minute she set out to put Arden’s guidelines into practice. You might as well surrender to the inevitable, because she’s got you right where you want her.

Lucky guy.

How to Find the Perfect Play Partner

Posted in community, cool people, Rope Bondage, sex education, twisted monk, writing on March 23, 2011 by admin

It’s funny, when I’m looking over my Google Reader. I’ve got a strange mishmash of feeds…Twisted Monk and Mistress Matisse and Ten and Mollena, of course, but then it veers into Lifehacker and Mnmlist and Hardcore Zen. Then we take another only slight turn to the right into productivity and entrepreneurial blogs like Seth Godin and Chris Brogan, and from there into pure porn…Bend Me Over and Elspeth Demina and Some Dirty Secrets and the like.

And you’d think that I’d get blogging material from the kinky people. Or from some zen philosophy. Or maybe inspiration from the images (“Hell, I can do that, and I know the guy that did that, and wouldn’t Mauikink toys make a good replication of that…”).

But no. Looking through them today, seeking blogging inspiration, it was sales giant Seth Godin who gave me my first inspiration, and the wholesome money-thrifty blog Simple Dollar that gave me the second.

Let me digress for a bit. One of the most common and most heartbreaking question I get is “How do I get to be a hot rope top, with everybody wanting me to tie them up?” Sometimes they will point at someone who they want to emulate, or (in confidence) at someone who they want to play with. “How can I get her to play with me?” is what they’re really asking.

Usually they’re talking about some hot bi babe that I’ve just done a scene with, and I tell them, quite honestly, that the way to play with the hot bi babes is to stop caring that they’re hot bi babes. At that point, they’re everywhere, and more than happy to play…but you don’t really care. Call it the Unicorn Paradox.

But the Simple Dollar put it far better than I ever did, and did it simply:

It’s not about having the right partner. It’s about being the right partner.

Every second you are trying to figure out how to make yourself more attractive to…whoever it is you want to play with…you are wasting your time. Why? Because the motivation is coming from outside of yourself. That makes it inauthentic, and people can usually smell somebody who’s faking it from across the dungeon. And even if you succeed, you are succeeding under false premises. You are not being you, you’re being someone you think they’ll like. Eventually, you will come back out, or, more likely, you’ll discover they aren’t all that after all.

Instead, you need to simply make yourself the most attractive person to yourself. What needs to happen to make you feel good about yourself? Is it weight? Is it clothes? Is it intellect? Be honest. Ask yourself what it is, then ask yourself why. And every time you answer with “…because then the guys will like me…” chuck that one out. Look for the ones that have “…because then I feel good…” or some variation thereof in it. I do my exercise regimen quite publicly via twitter, or even at the GRUE, and it’s not because I want Raven Lightholme to be impressed with my guns. Are you kidding? I’m forty-fucking-two years old, and I’m never going to look like Shaun T. Never. But I like how my body moves when I’m in shape, the way it feels to walk down the street, the added stamina it gives me when I’m slamming into her fine…ahem. You get the idea. I do it because when I do it I feel more like me.

So. You got the thing, or things, that make you feel more like you? The things that are going to make you into the right partner for whoever your partner is? Great! The next step is easy, too.

Fucking do something about it.

And that’s where Seth Godin enters the picture. He closed a recent blog post with a phrase that I wish I could tattoo on my forearm. It is the one phrase that I would send back to my elementary school self, over-intellectual and under-athletic and nerdy and waiting miserably to be selected last for kickball. Yeah, I was that kid. And I wish I could have a time tunnel to go back and whisper Seth’s words in his ear:

No one is going to pick you. Pick yourself.

Nobody’s asked you to teach? Well, first develop the skills (both in teaching and in your subject, the two are not the same) and then just go to classes and help out people who might be having trouble. I know people who have started podcasts just for the hell of it. Who have stepped up to help out people they don’t even know. Who have created their own publishing companies simply because they feel there are voices that need to be heard. Who have created their own events just because it was getting too complicated to go to other people’s.

Well, ok, the last one was me, and it didn’t exactly work out as planned. But that’s ok, it worked out better. And I’m pretty sure that if you pick yourself, rather than waiting around for somebody to tell you what to do, it will work out better than you can imagine, as well.

I’m not even going to address any “Yeah, but…” arguments. Sorry. Whatever you’re facing, I doubt it’s worse than what Hideaki Akaiwa faced and triumphed over. Sorry, folks, but he has removed any excuse from the table for quite a while.

So yeah, I cheated. How to find the perfect play partner? Become the perfect play partner.

And then play with yourself.

The Numbers of Kink

Posted in community, cool people, play, proporn, Rope Bondage, sex education on February 24, 2011 by admin

You may have heard: recently I joined the staff of the Kink Academy (affiliate link) as their “Editor Extraordinaire”. I get to get my hands dirty with video again, creating short segments of the best sex educators around sharing their stuff. Yesterday I edited a piece on eye contact for intimacy, a piece on warming up your partner’s ass for anal play, and a piece on stretching for bottoms preparing to be bound.

Good stuff. And all yours for the introductory price of $9.95/month, or $75 a year.

The funny thing is, there are people who not only think that’s too much, there are people who apparently harass Kali for daring to charge at all. There seems to be some anathema to the idea of making a profit while educating.

So let me get this straight:

People are willing to pay, oh, let’s say $125 for an event (we’ll assume it’s early bird pricing). This is an event that lasts one weekend, during which time, if they’re lucky, they’ll get to sit through, oh, ten classes (that’s assuming they can crawl out of bed after a play party). The event may have a huge number of great presenters, but you can only sit in their classes one at a time. And while you can still take notes in classes (that hasn’t been banned – yet) you can’t record what happens in any form. Not audio, not pics, certainly not video.

You pay $200-$450 for hotel and food.

You walk into the vendor area and drop $175 for a flogger, $300 for a corset, and $45 for those fantastic four-inch Ingrid stilettoes from the Shoe Guy. (Quick question: did you see anyone yelling at any of the vendors for “profiting from other people’s sexuality”?).

Total cost for a great weekend? Around $1000. With some material goods you can keep, but mostly the joy of an experience. I got to talk to Mollena Williams. I got to watch Scott Smith. I learned photography from David Lawrence. I was part of Shibaricon 2011!

Great presenters, all. The event was full of ‘em. And, with a few exceptions, most weren’t paid a dime for their experience or teaching time. If they were lucky they had books or DVDs they could hawk at their classes, but if not, well, then your thanks was all the reward they asked for.

And that’s fine, as far as it goes. What I don’t get is why someone who is passionate enough about their kink to drop a grand on a weekend that will fade into memory balks at paying $75 (that’s what, half a flogger?) for a full year of over 50 educators – the same ones you see at the events – teaching on a huge variety of subjects whenever you want. You can check out their free videos, too, which give a pretty good taste of what’s inside, and are also a free resource in and of themselves.

Madison Young Teaches "Zen Submissive"

It’s streaming video. You can watch Madison Young’s oral sex tips over and over and over (and believe me, you will want to). It’s there when you need it, a refresher before a play date, an exploration into a new kink, or even to check out a presenter who’s going to be at the next event you’re at. Four new videos a week, all year long, never archived: you can join today and have literally hours of explicit kinky instruction at your disposal.

Oh, and every single person involved in that video was paid for their time. The presenters and the models. Paid quite well, in fact, because Kink Academy believes their time and knowledge are valuable and they deserve to be rewarded for it. When you join Kink Academy, you are saying thanks to the presenters in a directly financial way.

Me and Raven Lightholme (of FreedomofFetish.com) talking about Making Out

I’m not saying you should join, mind you. That would be disingenuous, as I’ve got an obviously personal stake in the matter. No, I just want people to stop pretending that money isn’t support, and that somehow going to an event that doesn’t pay presenters is more valid than joining an educational site that does.

This sparQ Brought to You By the Letter “P”

Posted in art, community, cool people, event, Rope Bondage on February 16, 2011 by admin

“Sure, I’m moving to Pittsburgh,” I told my friend. “But I’ll be heading back to Madison a lot.”

“Uh huh. Sure. I’ll believe that when I see it!” she said skeptically, adding “…but I hope you do.”

In a couple of weeks I’ll be doing just that – returning to the Bondage Capital of the World in order to be part of the launch of a great new project. sparQ.com is a sex positive place with educational, erotic, and useful content, whether that’s a hot story, an article about having better orgasms, or a sex toy review.

They’re starting things off on February 26th with a bang (no, not that kind) with a gallery night called “the Art of the Sensual” in Pewaukee (that’s a suburb of the suburb of the Bondage Capital). There will be erotic readings, a gallery full of stimulating art, and they’ve invited Naiia and myself to come and do some rope performance.

What’s P Got to Do With It?

Glad you asked. No, I’m not going to do anything scandalous. In fact, I’m looking forward to not doing the typical rough-and-tumble rope that I’ve been doing for many years. As with my performance with DoNotGoGently in New York City recently, I’m going for something different, something more sensual, something that hasn’t been done before.

Almost as if to aid me in my quest is the appearance of Gar Reynolds’ The Naked Presenter in the mail yesterday, a birthday present from CunningMinx (who still knows my tastes quite well, it seems). I started reading it this morning, and came to a section on “creative constraints.” Gar put some pretty strange ones on himself for the book, limiting himself to ten chapters and deciding that the principles he talks about should all begin with the letter P:

  • Preparation
  • Punch
  • Presence
  • Projection
  • Passion
  • Proximity
  • Play
  • Pace
  • Participation
  • Power

…with one extra P, Persistence, just to show that rules are made to be broken.

I haven’t read more than the first chapter at this point, but it’s already stirring some creative juices. These are all the things that go into a good presentation, yes, but also into a good scene, and I’m fascinated to see how I can apply these things more consciously to the upcoming performance.

If you’d like to see it, check out the Facebook link above, or just come out to Pewaukee on the 26th of February for the event.

It will be a Pleasure to see you…

The 10 Commandments of Kink

Posted in community, play, writing on February 2, 2011 by admin

As revealed to Graydancer, Ninja Sex Poodle & Ronin of Love

1. And it came to pass that in that land there were an abundance of people who did delight in sharing their kink one with another.

2. And while it was agreed that their kinks had oft been begotten by the Old Guard, verily all of their efforts to define that Old Guard fell like ripe seeds upon barren soil, bearing no fruit and causing much bitterness and strife and letters to the editor. And as none were happy with this, they stopped. And much rejoicing was heard amongst teh interwebs.

4. And while it was generally agreed upon that because of this nebulousness of form amongst our kinky forebears and foredykes and foredaddies and foreboys and forebois and thou gettest the idea, it was also evident to all that certain commonalities did exist among the communities.

5. Whereupon it came to pass in the City of Wind, amongst the flock of the prophet Howie and his many ministers and ministrixes, a small band of pansexuals did gather together to partake of the sacraments of sushi.

6. And amongst this group some did top and some did bottom and some did both, and there were players of the edge and they who of a surety were n00bs, and yet they did dwell together in that place of raw fish and edamame in harmony and laughter.

7. Verily the sushi was shared by Kimono Boy and Painslut alike, and from the cleansing power of wasabi their minds were collectively opened to revelation.

8. For while there is no one true way, yet there is still common experience shared by those who do kink in public.

9. And ten commandments were handed down from their collective soylent souls, “commandments” being defined as in any kinky endeavor as agreed upon by those parties consenting to play one with another.

10. The first of these commandments was caused by the envy of many for the member of their party whose dance card did begin with Saint Claire of Adams that night. And it was rendered thus:

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors play date.

11. And the second commandment was inspired by the travails of good Saint Jack McGeorge, who saith,

Thou shalt not out another’s kink.

12. New words were deemed necessary then to describe those who sin through disacceptance of another’s kink:

Thou shalt not commit judgery.

13. The fourth commandment, thus:

Thou shalt honor the safeword and keep it wholly;
Neither shalt thou utter the safeword in vain.

14. The fifth commandment was the shortest, needing no explanation:

Ouch is not a safeword.

15. When thou walkest amongst those who sceneth, remember well the sixth commandment:

Thou shalt not interrupt.

16. Of two parts was the seventh commandment, each the helpmeet of the other:

Thou shalt ask for what thee wants,
And thou shalt get what thee asketh for.

17. Many sad and sorrowful word formed the eighth commandment and were put therein:

Thou shalt not stand
in the corner of the dungeon
by thyself
and crack thy singletail all night long.

Verily the seraph Sheryn did find fewer words to fit in the eighth commandment, rendering it thusly:

Thou shalt not be creepy.

18. With much respect and honor for the past did the ninth commandment come to be:

Unless thy name is Chuck Renslow,
Thou art probably not Old Guard.

19. The final commandment of kind was directed to those who believe they are Gods, and have forsaken the knowledge that while that may be true, there have been many Gods before and there will of a surety be many after. The tenth commandment is for all who sceneth:

Thine ego must fit
within a 4000 square foot dungeon,
Lest it afflict thy fellows
with the awful stench
Of unwashed hubris.

20. And upon the uttering of the tenth commandment, those assembled were filled with the desire to leave the land of sushi and spread their floggers and cheeks wheresoever the opportunity presenteth, being mindful of the commandments and keeping them wholly.

21. And it was good.

Previously published in Protocols, a Variety of Views, edited by Robert Rubel, PhD. Apologies to those whose religious beliefs do not have room for parody, and will therefore be offended by this.

Tony Comstock, Portrait in Courage

Posted in community, cool people, NeatEvent, proporn, sex education, writing on February 1, 2011 by admin

One of many "Real" movies from Comstock Films

Tony Comstock is a pornographer writer sailor father husband  filmmaker guy who cares about the state of sexual mores in our culture. And when I say cares, I mean more than just donating to Scarleteen and the NCSF and making movies about real people having real sex because they are really in love.

He is going to be putting his (literary) ass on the line:

“In late 2008 I began a deliberate campaign to take my ideas beyond the safe confines of my little corner of the internet. I began engaging on blogs and forums where I knew my films and the ideas they represent would be greeted with, at best, suspicion, if not outright hostility. This process has been hugely demanding — of my time, of my energy, of my emotions — with no guarantee that my efforts would ever bear fruit.”

But bear fruit it did. In fact, his writing (which is excellent in its own right) was noticed by none other than Atlantic columnist James Fallows. Which is why Tony Comstock will be covering for Fallows for the first half of February. Tony talks about what he plans to do with this suddenly huge soapbox:

By the end of the week, I hope to have laid out a case for the idea that while we live in an age where extremely graphic, often upsetting sexual imagery is but a mouse-click away, images that explore and celebrate love and sexuality in the same way that Valentine’s day celebrates love and sexuality are vanishingly rare.

“I am also going to talk about how law, custom, economics, and technology interact to enforce a wide gulf between the well-crafted, but oddly coy depictions of sexuality in mainstream film and television, and the poorly made, often cartoonishly vulgar depictions that seem to characterize the collision of sex and the moving image.

Along the way I’ll touch on subjects of more general interest, including: algorithmic morality, climax ecology, boiled frogs, what you can and can’t see from outer-space, boxing, Steve Jobs’ liver, Dick Cheney’s heart, gun-control, and dog fighting.”

I’m almost drooling with excitement. That list of subjects is like an aphrodisiac.

His sojourn as an Atlantic guest-blogger begins February 7 and runs through February 13, the day before Valentine’s day. I’ll certainly be following it, but I suspect that as a community of sex-positive writers and bloggers and freaks we should make sure to respectfully and openly support this foray into the mass media by one of our own.