Lasercuts & Lithophanes, oh my!

Today was a good lesson in “almost perfect.” Everything I did was almost a complete success…but it all has room for improvement. For example, the edges of this could be more rounded: And this attempt at an intaglio press plate printed backward and too thick: It’s resting on a phone stand I lasercut perfectly (on[…]

The Future of Sex & Social Change: By Any Dance Necessary

In the beginning of June Naiia and I are going to be co-facilitating part of a neat event at Fort Mason in San Francisco: THIS IS WHAT I WANT festival is hosting an Unconference on pleasure, lineage and sustainability. Join us in this peer led space to collectively explore vital ideas about our various practices[…]

Guest Appearance on the Full Disclosure Podcast with Eric Barry!

I had a great time being the object rather than the subject of a podcast! Eric Barry was a fun and interesting conversationalist, and it was a great pleasure meeting his co-host Jen Larsen (oh, and a virtual one too, Jess from San Francisco!). I get to be all kinds of controversial – talking about[…]

N is for Nipple

a-to-z-letters-nWhile this may seem like a pretty obvious and cheap way to fulfill the “sexy subject” challenge, it actually has some personal relevance. Not simply that I enjoy nipples – of all shapes, sizes, colors, textures, etc. I have fond memories of “Perky & Crinkles”, the pet names for a certain partner’s nipples.

I love playing with them for myself but derive much more joy from the stimulation it can give my partner. I’ve had an encounter or two where the person has basically shrugged their shoulders and said “Go to town…” while admitting that they didn’t actually derive much pleasure for themselves from any nipple stimulation. In those situations, I usually will simply forego the lovely little knobs and find out what she does enjoy.

There was one partner who had the most lovely nipples, but didn’t enjoy having them touched at all – “annoying” was, I believe, the term she used. However, we found a happy compromise – she loved having the rest of her breasts touched, stroked, suckled, etc. So as long as I was doing something to the rest of the happy globes, the nipples were enthusiastically invited to the party. In the words of a certain great rocker, “Now that’s fuckin’ teamwork!”

The Story of My Favorite Nipple

However, my favorite nipple story has to do with the framing of a certain nipple. Naiia, who has been a demo bottom for many a class, really pushed through her comfort zone at the Fetish Flea one year by volunteering to be a “human canvas” on which people would write words. These were words that, to her, implied beauty, and by having people write them on her body she was deliberately torturing herself.

Yes, that’s right. For Naiia, calling her a “cum-hungry round-heeled cock-gobbling trollop” will bring a happy grin to her face. Telling her that her “blue-gray eyes in the moonlight piercing through the long dark falls of her lustrous hair silhouetted against the night sky is love made liquid silver” would make her squirm, cringe, and try desperately to find a rock to hide under.

Twisted girl, that Naiia. That’s why I love her.


A Review of “Meltdown” by Jax Baynard

There’s a lot of things you don’t do as a dominant. You’re not supposed to play when you’re angry. You’re not supposed to let the bottom goad you into anything they want more than you. You’re not supposed to lose control, ever, because you are responsible for the scene, responsible for everything that happens therein.[…]

Suspension Bondage is for Lazy Tops

They say that the key to a good blog post is saying something controversial, hence the title. It’s not a joke, though; fair warning, what you read here may anger you. Either at me, at yourself, or at your top, depending. At Shibaricon I was a bit busy. Which is kind of like saying Ms.[…]

This sparQ Brought to You By the Letter “P”

“Sure, I’m moving to Pittsburgh,” I told my friend. “But I’ll be heading back to Madison a lot.” “Uh huh. Sure. I’ll believe that when I see it!” she said skeptically, adding “…but I hope you do.” In a couple of weeks I’ll be doing just that – returning to the Bondage Capital of the[…]