Kumir, Chapter 3: Exposition Pancakes

Posted: May 19, 2013 by Gray in kumir
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Editor’s note: If you’re new to the series, start here. If you’re wondering about the chapter title, well, it’s a work in progress, remember? In fact, as I was editing this, I found myself questioning whether it really merited being a “chapter” at all – that maybe it should have just been tacked on to the end of Chapter 2. Mainly because while I love that there is exposition, witty dialogue, and pancakes, there’s not a lot of action here. Speaking of which, if you’re wondering “Hey, Gray, where’s the sex?” trust me…it’s coming. Got feedback? I’d love hear from you, either in the comments or directly.

“I knew you were trouble!” Jason glared at Jane as she came through the door. Crew Chief Jonesy just gave her a merry grin, though, as he accepte a tray with four large cups from the barista. “And you still can’t pay for anything, unless you robbed those poor fellas too…” Jonesy suddenly froze, looking distressed.

“You gotta pay for coffee now?” he said, sounding panicked.

“What?” Jason shifted focus for a moment to the wide-eyed medic. “No, no, Jonesy, you know you never have to pay for your coffee. Especially since you have to lug those poor guys to the clinic.” He glared at Jane as she sat in a booth, a small amused smile on her face. “Quit grinning like that! He told me what you said about getting three beds ready! How can you call that self-defense?”

She nodded thoughtfully, expression becoming more serious. “You’re right. That was a mistake.” Looking at Jonesy, she said “I’m sorry to cause you more work, friend. But I was wrong.” She held up a hand, thumb tucked. “Doc Jonesy’s gonna need four beds.” As Jason’s glare darkened, she gave him a nod. “Fire up the grill, Jason-my-friend, I’ve got a powerful hunger, and this girl’s work has just begun.”

Jason looked for a moment as if he would explode. Suddenly he sagged, leaning against the counter for a moment. “But…you can’t pay!” His objection was only half-hearted as he turned to the grill.

“Don’t worry about it!” Jane called to his back. “My moneyroll is on his way. Breakfast, and then some.” Jason looked at her over his shoulder, an eyebrow cocked in mute question. “Eggs, scrambled, sausage links, pancakes, and coffee.” She paused for a moment, thinking, then added “And throw some cheddar on those eggs, wouldja, darling?” She settled back in the booth, giving Jonesy a wave as he walked out the door. Her eyes closed and a serene smile came across her face at the sound of the griddle sizzling mingling with Jason’s muttered imprecations.

Shortly the man brought the plate of food to her table and sullenly dropped the plate with a rude clatter. “That’s another $7 added to your tab,” he announced darkly.

“Seven?” she said, surprised. “That seems kind of steep for, well-” she waved her hand around, indicating the shop’s decor, “– a place like this.”

“You get a $2 pain-in-the-ass tax,” he snapped. “I told you that you should just go. Now you’ve just gone and stirred things up that didn’t need stirring. Four men – Incubikers, no less – in the clinic. Not that they were really good men to start with, but still.” Jason looked up intently at her. “There’s been a truce, almost, lately. Uneasy, sucky for everyone, but mostly peaceful. Violence is not the answer!”

“Kinda depends on the question, don’t you think?” she said quietly, then took a forkful of eggs. She motioned for Jason to join her across the booth. He grudgingly sat downas she swallowed, humming appreciatively. “Good eggs.” Gesturing with her fork, she continued. “Question for you: who was that redhead they were escorting? She was…” she looked away a moment, seeming to go through several possible adjectives before finally settling on one. “Striking. Moreso than I’d expect from that crowd, that kind of porn.”

Jason chuckled bitterly. “Oh, she’s not part of the porn. I wish she were, it would be easier on…” He stopped and sighed, taking a different approach. “She’s Michael’s own little pet – he thought she was ‘striking’ too, and so he just had to have her. Any trace of mirth left his face. “So he took her.”

“Took?” Jane asked through a mouthful of pancakes.

“Took her from Alecs.” Jason nodded upstairs, indicating his lodger. “From him and from her little boy.” He looked down at the table again. “Continues to take her. Night after night.”

Jane looked puzzled. “Why doesn’t anyone – ” she began, but Jason cut her off.

“The answer to any question beginning with ‘Why don’t they – ‘ is usually…”

“Money,” Jane finished the quote. “Yeah. Figures. They pay off the police, eh? Can’t Alec go higher in the food chain?” Before he could answer, she held up a hand. “Never mind. Stupid question. He didn’t go quite high enough, did he? They found a way to discourage him from trying again.”

The barista set his lips, looking away before replying. “If you count his fingernails, you won’t get near ten.”

The woman’s face went blank. “Ah. I see.” She ate the rest of her meal in silence, and after a moment Jason got up and returned to polishing and re-polishing the glassware behind the counter.

Just as Jane was mopping up the last of her syrup with the final shred of pancake, the door opened and a well-muscled man in a dark designer sports coat walked in. Ignoring Jason, he walked over and tried to loom over the woman by standing too close to the booth. His attempted intimidation was a diluted by her complete disregard for his presence, and his face slowly grew red as she continued to idly draw little designs in the syrup.

“Hey, bitch. Mr. Nesmith wants to talk to you.” His voice had a nasal whine to it, making him seem more petulant than threatening.

With a glacierlike calm she turned her head to look up at him. “Really? And why do you think that is, shit-for-brains?” His mouth opened, but she continued before he could speak. “Do you think it might have something to do with the four assholes I sent to the clinic half an hour ago? And do you think,” her voice suddenly took on a strident tone, like a slap in his face “- that if he decided to just send one asshole to get me, he expects you to treat me like shit?” Eyes narrowing, her voice suddenly lowered, becoming a low, predatory purr. “Or maybe…tell me, schmuckballs, what did you do to piss Tony off? Did you say no when Kitten wanted you to take your turn? Because if he sent you to me alone…he must not be expecting to get too much back.”

The man’s face had gone white as the woman talked, and when she finished, his stance was a little more unsure, and finally he shifted away from the booth. “Mr Nesmith…requests your company,” he amended, voice surprisingly gentlemanly. “If you would be so kind as to let me escort you, Miss….?”

“Thank you, schmuckballs. That’s much better.” She didn’t move from the booth for a moment, taking a final, leisurely sip of her coffee. Then with a lithe movement she was out, the motion so sudden that the man jumped a bit as she suddenly was inches away from his broad chest. Looking up at him, she winked. “You can call me ma’am, for now. Pay the man, and let’s go. Mustn’t keep little Tony waiting.” She handed her rucksack over the counter to Jason. “Keep an eye on this for me, willya?” He nodded, a grimly amused smile on his face, her tab in his hand. “Oh, and don’t forget the asshole tax, Jason! Schmuckballs certainly qualifies.”

Jason presented the bill neutrally to the rough man who glanced at it with a look as if he were swallowing glass. With a muttered “Fucker!” he threw a ten at the counter, and stiffly opened the door for her as they went out into the morning light.

Kumir, Chapter 2: Three Beds

Posted: May 12, 2013 by Gray in kumir
Tags: ,

In case you’re late to the party, I’ve decided to force myself into editing That Damn Book (aka “Kumir”) by committing to releasing a chapter a week here online, for free! This is definitely a Work In Progress – feedback is welcome and appreciated! If you missed it, Chapter 1 is here.

The cold morning wind blew the paper litter around the woman’s legs as she walked with an easy stride out of the coffee shop and turned into the alley. The shadows were graying with the slow creep of dawn, and her unruly blonde hair, skin and leathers seemed to glow with a rainbow of pewtered shades. She held the whip loosely in her right hand, the coils making a dull tap with every step as they bumped against her leg. As she passed her toppled bike she spared it an ironic half-smile, but made no move to set it upright. She looked down the alley, now empty, neither bikers nor bums in sight. She stood there, weight balanced, as though she were waiting for something she knew was going to happen.

Sudden flashes of red light slashed over the alley walls, and she glanced over her shoulder to see an ambulance pulling up. A vague logo emblazoned with “St. Antoine’s Free Clinic” was barely visible under the street grime covering the side. The driver, eyes crazed by too many stimulants and too little rest, looked at her through the rolled-down passenger window. His scruffy beard was a shade darker than the sandy blonde receding hairline that straggled down to his collar. There was a distinctly Jesus-like aura to his hopped-up alertness.

“Hey, lady! You don’ wan’ be there, lady! They takin’ Mr. Doukas’ woman home, and you even look at her, they cut you! Bad!” His voice was a frenetic staccato, but there was a feeling of genuine care underneath. “They cut the last fella whut looked down that alley, and it was bad…real bad. Doc Jonesy had to take care of him.” The driver looked down in mournful remembrance. “That guy, he used to be so pretty…Doc Jonesy can’t make him pretty again. Best he could do was make his face-parts work again.” His face looked sad as a basset hound. “Mostly…”

Jane thought for a moment, and then smiled at the driver. “I bet I can guess your name.”

The driver smiled beatifically back. “Really? That’d be a neat trick.”

“It’s Jonesy, isn’t it?”

The man shook his head with puppy-like eagerness. “Nope!” As she frowned, he laughed with manic glee. “It’s Crew Chief Jonesy!”

Her smile widened at that. “Ah. Yes. Your turn to be crew chief, I guess. Double shift?”

Crew Chief Jonesy’s smile kind of dwindled. “You know it, lady. Every fucking day.”

The woman’s smile turned thoughtful. “You really used to care, before the speed, didn’t you?”

The man grinned happily at her. “Still do! That’s why I’m on it – there ain’t no other drivers, and somebody’s gotta take care of business. Just dropped off another chica from the Toy Shoppe. She split her –” suddenly he stopped, eyes looking wildly up, then worriedly back at her. “Wait. Am I doing that TMI thing again? Doc Jonesy told me I needed to stop talkin’ so much…”

Jane waved a benediction to the driver. “No problem, Chief. And thanks for the warning about looking down here. Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing.” At a sound from down the alley, her head snapped around with a raptor’s speed, and she saw a group of Incubikers exiting into the alley from a side door, a separate silhouette tall and slender in the midst.

“It’s Monique!” Jonesy whispered reverently from behind her. “Mr. Doukas’ woman. I’m tellin’ ya, lady, ya shouldn’t be here.”

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Kumir Preview, Chapter 1

Posted: May 4, 2013 by Gray in kumir, writing
Tags: ,

The A-to-Z Challenge was a blast, and you can even hear it read, all twenty-six posts, by one of the sexiest voices out there on the Ropecast.

But the fact is it was a distraction. It’s a way for me to ignore the writing I should be doing – erotica, non-fiction, essays, I got a head filled with ideas. Including a full-length novel, roughly set in the same universe as Nawashi and Jujun, which is in need of some editing.

So I’m going to let you, dear readers, put the pressure on me. I’m going to release the chapters as I edit them, serially, here on this blog. Absolutely free. Oh, if you want to tip me some over there on the sidebar, I won’t turn you down, but I promise I won’t leave you hanging. Over the next few months, once a week, a chapter will be revealed here on the blog right up until the bitter end of the ambulance lights driving off into a snowy night (yeah, I gave it away a bit there, but what do you expect for free?).

At the end, the book will be released in actual print form, probably with some additional edits, one or two expanded scenes, maybe a little additional erotica just to make it worth your while. One of the nice things about self-publishing is that you have options.

However, letting the story languish is not an option. So let me invite you into a somewhat decrepit corner of Detroit – not the current city-in-rebirth, but the city when it looked like it was dying. Sit down, grab a coffee, and let me tell you the story of the Kumir.

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Z is for Zen

Posted: April 30, 2013 by Gray in A to Z Challenge, Rope Bondage, sex education
Tags: , , ,

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“Zen? Why would you want to believe in Zen? They don’t believe in anything!“- My stepmother, circa 1985

“Surprisingly, the height of both the arousal and the meditative state seemed to come for both the top and the bottom when the rope was coming off – that is, in the negative space that was being created.” – Professor Greg, aka “Neuromancer”, reporting the findings of an EEG performed during an ichinawa session.

I’m an unashamed Japanophile. I have always enjoyed their culture vicariously, whether it’s fantasies of the 47 Ronin or just the strangeness of Hiro Dreams of Sushi. At one point in my life I was making a painful shift from creative artsy type to lean green killing machine, and it was at that time that I encountered Zen Buddhism – specifically the Rinzai and Soto varieties. I found much resonance in the latter, and it provided a path of sanity through assimilating the need to create with the ability to destroy and vice versa. Much later, as a rope bondage aficionado I have been through the cycles of worshipping everything Japanese to feeling I was not entitled to anything due to culture to finally realizing that it doesn’t really matter – it’s the rope that counts.

Except When It Doesn’t

In rope bondage, underneath the hot sex (or not) and the fine art (or not) and the centuries (or not) of tradition, there is something about the rope that simply speaks directly to a place of calm inside. To a place where somehow all the physical manifestations – the skin, the rope, the environment, the bodies and minds themselves – go away, and there is simply the action itself.

I realize that seems kind of strange to say. How can you have action without things doing the acting, without the things being acted upon? All I can say is that it doesn’t always happen, and it never happens for very long – but when it does, it is when I feel closest to understanding what they mean when the devout say “God”.

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Y is for Yum

Posted: April 29, 2013 by Gray in A to Z Challenge, community, writing

a-to-z-letters-yRACK, SSC, PRICK, YKINMKBYKIOK (that’s Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is O-K), WIIWD (What It Is We Do), there are so many clever acronyms and sayings we use in the community to try and make sure that everybody has a good time.

My favorite, though, is simply this:

Don’t Yuck My Yum.

And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Well, Polonius might not have actually said it that way. But I bet he wishes he did.

X is for XXXenophile

Posted: April 28, 2013 by Gray in Rope Bondage
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>20130427-231005.jpgAside from being “nice” and “mean” I also have a reputation for being funny. I believe I know why: sex is fucking hilarious. Really, it is. Whether it’s A Midsummer’s Night Dream or George Carlin making an orgasm face, there’s a huge amount of fun to be had when you are succumbing to hormones.

I also was a nerd as a youth. Dungeons & Dragons was my friend, Dragon Magazine my favorite magazine, and Phil Foglio my favorite comic book artist. So how ecstatic was I when, as an adult exploring the world of kink, I found out that he had published ten sexy and clever and witty and explicit and…well, I’ve already used the word hilarious, but it was fuckin’ funny.

It was called XXXenophile, and it was filled with scifi and fantasy and boobs and cocks and threesomes and aliens and just fun. It helped me accept the fact that it’s possible to be both playful and adult about sex, and that’s served me quite well over the years.

If you find a copy, or get a chance to read them…I highly recommend them. But no, you can’t borrow mine. Those bitches are hard to find…

.

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W is for Words

Posted: April 26, 2013 by Gray in A to Z Challenge, writing
Tags: , , ,

I once saw a man in a wheelchair whispering into a submissive’s ear. It seemed a strange scene – she was simply lying on a table, eyes closed, and his mouth was moving inches from her ear.

Gradually I saw her face contort. I saw her start to cry. He continued to whisper. I saw her start to moan and move, all of her body except her head, which remained close to his whispered words.

I asked her later what he’d said…and she couldn’t tell me, not exactly. But with a few whispered words he’d taken her deeper into lust and terror than she’d ever experienced.

I don’t know what he said. I don’t know that I’ll ever reach that level of skill and magic with words. But I now know that to which I aspire.

Words matter.

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V is for Vulva

Posted: April 26, 2013 by Gray in A to Z Challenge, writing
Tags: , , ,
V is for Vulva

V is for Vulva

Pussy. Cunt. Vagina, if you want to sound like a 14 year old. “Gash” is simply rude, and any of the supposedly descriptive ones – hairy clam, for example – just seem at best ludicrous and at worst scary. If you use “vajayjay” I forbid you from reading this blog ever again.

Seriously. Just leave.

Me, I like vulva.

Ever since the wondrous Heather Corinna explained to me (with words, you perv, she’s like a sister to me!)(and not that kind of sister, you other perv!) that it makes a difference what kind of word you use when you’re writing erotica. That to say “her vagina throbbed” was only going to be erotic to the less literate; that if you really want to turn on a well-informed mind, find a way to not only use the right word, but find a way to use it erotically.

Meanwhile, it’s amazing how much power the words for this particular organ have. How ridiculous is it that grown men banned a woman from using the word vagina in a public debate about women’s reproductive rights? This is why we can’t have nice things!

“Penis” I can’t do much with. “Pussy” and “cunt” work with dialogue, but usually not with descriptions (except in the first person, and that’s basically dialogue, so it’s cheating). But to talk about a “vulva slick with desire” – ok, out here in the open, it doesn’t sound like much, but trust me, written down? It’s gold.

But if anyone has ever whispered “God you’ve got a hot vulva“, I’ll eat my hat. It just doesn’t work, unless you’re planning on a gigglefest after.

Still. I like the word vulva.

Vulva Bound (Great name for a band)

Vulva Bound (Great name for a band)

U is for Uniform

Posted: April 24, 2013 by Gray in Rope Bondage

20130424-185753.jpgMany people assume that because I have prior service, or because I teach a class on military style bondage, I must be a uniform fetishist. I’m not; when I put on cammies or dress blues I don’t go to happyfunsexy place, I become Lance Corporal Miller again, defending the shores of California against the Communist threat by going on yet another dreary working party. I’ve considered wearing other uniforms, but honestly I can’t even get to the point of trying them on – it just doesn’t feel right. I’ll be charitable and say it’s because I haven’t earned the right to wear their emblems.

So for a long time I didn’t think I would ever really be able to do more than have vague cargo-pants & black-t-shirt type uniform. Maybe look really evil, and have a “Blackwater” logo embroidered on a polo shirt – that IS scary.

20130424-185429.jpgThen my friend RiggerJay, a proud member of the 501st Legion, gifted me with a hand-me-down uniform and belt. I bought the cap myself, and discovered that yes, there is a uniform that I can truly fetishize. As a member of the Emperor’s Interrogation Corps, it is my duty to ferret out the enemies of the Empire, one Rebel Scum at a time…

T is for Tension

Posted: April 23, 2013 by Gray in A to Z Challenge, Rope Bondage
Graydancer's T is for Tension

TENSION

Tension is the love child of anticipation and uncertainty, those breathless moments just before lips meet for the first time, before hand meets skin in that first happy stinging slap, that moment of hesitation before the signature is finally put on the dotted line.

Seriously. Have you ever been with someone when they sign their first mortgage? That is the epitome of tension-release. It’s a high, it’s an endorphin rush, and it is inevitable that whatever relieves the tension – no matter how sweet and luscious – is not as much of a thrill as the tension itself. So we seek it, again and again.

In kink we have the advantage, because there’s always a new kind of tension: Will they ask me to play? Will he let me do that thing? Will they like my class? Will they read my blog? Will that feel the way I imagine it does when I’m masturbating furiously to the thought of it?

In rope bondage, however, tension has another meaning. Oh, sure, we get all the normal exciting bits, and I myself am guilty of artificially manipulating the pace of a tie to increase the “tension” of the scene.

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