Sep 182014

Right now I’m at the start of a couple of months of active traveling around the U.S. and Canada. At the same time I’ve been lucky enough to host Hishi Karo of the Shibari Dojo Vienna for a week in my home, which led to many interesting conversations about the differences in various countries. I also have a good friend about to embark on a kink tour of Australia, for which I’m envious about everything except the spiders. Seems like a good time for a “top ten” list of travel lessons, most learned the hard way. Learn the Art of Waiting. Delay is a traveler’s companion; whether it’s a bus or a visa or another delayed flight, figure out how to wait gracefully. Sitting and being angry won’t make things any faster, so whether it’s meditation or an audiobook or writing smut in you notebook, you need to cultivate the ability (in the words of Chase Blackwood) of turning the Gates of Boredom into the Shrine of Patience. Know where you’re going and who you’re staying with. That sinking feeling when the border agent says “ Who are you staying with? ” and you realize that “Cocksucking Smutkitten” is probably not her [...]

Travel Tips for the International Kinkster
Sep 062014

“She has what?” Michael shouted into Jane’s face. Theo stood next to the desk looking worriedly at his brother while BeeCee lurked behind his boss glaring at her. His forehead was still bandaged where her whip had marked him. In the corner of the office Tony lay in a pool of his own blood. He was breathing raggedly, bound tight with some rough manila rope. Jane kept her voice low and calm. “As best I can tell, she has footage of Theo helping Ksenja and the other Russian whores out of the truck. She said that the DA gets it unless Tony comes back unharmed.” Theo laughed harshly. “Unharmed?” He gestured towards Tony’s limp body in the corner. Jane sighed. “Yeah, I told her that really wasn’t an option. But I downplayed it – told her he’d gotten a little roughed up but he’d be fine.” She looked earnestly at Michael. “I told her she should take what she could get. She said she just wants things back the way they were.” Jane paused, trying to guage Michael’s reaction, but the gang leader just kept the same frown and angry glare. Jane gave a little shrug. “I think we could [...]

KUMIR, Chapter 18: The Mouth of the Messenger
Sep 032014

“Patrick?” “Yo, Jason. What’s shakin’, mon frere.?” “I’m still on the trail of the damned thing. There’s been a complication, though.” “So I heard. A complication named Jane. If even half the rumors are true, she’s quite a handful. You think she’s hunting it too?” “Not sure. Maybe. Could be she’s just trying to make some money, fast.” “Let me know if you need your big brother. Even though it’s not my normal gig – I’m more the guy who swoops in and rescues the dude or damsel from off the tracks.” “Yeah, but then you keep forgetting to untie them.” “True, but hey, guy can’t think of everything. You got the brains, I’m stuck with the looks. It should be noted that those hypothetical dudes and damsels never complain.” “True enough. Anyway, Jane isn’t what I’d call a damsel…but I worry she’s headed for trouble.” “Not sure that’s our circus or our monkeys, brother mine. She’s not a sex mage, right? Just a hot lil’ switch with some manic pixie whip skills.” “No, I don’t think she’s one of us, but…” “But?” “She’s more than your average sex worker. Or your above-average one, for that matter.” “Still not under [...]

Sep 022014

I had a great time being the object rather than the subject of a podcast! Eric Barry was a fun and interesting conversationalist, and it was a great pleasure meeting his co-host Jen Larsen (oh, and a virtual one too, Jess from San Francisco!). I get to be all kinds of controversial – talking about feminism, misogyny, rope, kink, writing, cigars…and even a fun little joke here and there. Well worth the listen!

Guest Appearance on the Full Disclosure Podcast with Eric Barry!
Aug 282014

From a commenter from Fetlife on my “How to (Almost) Not Go Broke as a Kink Presenter as a Kink Presenter “: Unfortunately, there is no magic money tree for kink conventions (or no one is sharing it), so organizers constantly have to (or at least should attempt to) balance accessibility, costs, and fair compensation. This creates a system where folks with the most disposable income & time (often white men) do the majority of presenting in the kink scene. It’s a shitty outcome of a flawed system, but it’s what we currently have to work with.- Boondoggle (quoted with permission) Challenge Accepted Perhaps it’s my Irish nature, but when faced with a “shitty outcome of a flawed system”, my response is not to simply sit there accepting shitty outcomes. I either want to change the outcome, or fix the flaw, or get out of the system altogether. What I absolutely cannot accept is the idea that “that’s just the way things are, and there’s nothing we can do about it.” Even if that’s true. I’m usually the guy who’s gonna break his head pounding against the wall. Which is why I get so frustrated by the idea that the current system of compensation for presenters [...]

The Magic Money Tree
Aug 232014

In light of a recent fetlife writing about how presenters need to raise the bar of professionalism, I decided to finally flesh out this writing. It is based on a private email I wrote to a friend who asked me for some advice on how to not go broke as he presented to more events. This is entirely my own personal experience, opinion, and should not be used in any form as a “True Way.” I have been presenting on kink now for about eleven years, perhaps a bit more. Like many presenters I quickly ran into the issue of being asked to present, saying yes, and having it drain my bank account (not to mention put strain on relationships, family, and my own stamina). For the latter parts, I really can’t offer advice. Well, except for the stamina part: Sleep. As for finances: I have almost figured out how to not lose money when I present. Or, at least, to lose a minimal amount, and occasionally come back with more money than I spent. The Simple Script I used to be very nervous about negotiation – I hate haggling. In conversations with many other presenters who I wanted to [...]

How to (Almost) Not Go Broke As a Kink Presenter
Jul 312014

I’m a gourmand. Cigars, coffee, whiskey, wine, food, my range of palate choices are basically “yum“, “yuck“, with a few adverbs like “kinda” and “totally” thrown in there. When people talk about “cedary” or “earthy” or any kind of “notes” in their reviews, I just nod my head and know that I’m not going to be there. Rope is that way for me too. So I’m not going to be able to sit here and compare M0co jute with things like tossa or golden or 9-strand vs. 21 strand or etc. Sorry. Thankfully, there’s a whole bunch of other people who have a much more distinguished feel and experience for such things. That’s ok. Thing is, I am going to paraphrase my friend Andrew, who, when asked what the “proper length” of a rope is, said on the Ropecast: “It’s whatever length of rope is in your hand when the naked girl in front of you asks you to tie her up.” The right rope to use is the one that’s in your hand at that time. Which is why I have my m0c0 jute at the top of my bag. “Energy” = Focused Attention Here’s the thing: I watched [...]

Me and My M0co
Jul 262014

Michael sitting in the common hall with the crumpled figure of Tony mercifully unconscious on the table in front of him. The Australian’s face was an unrecognizeable ruin of flesh, and Michael looked down at him dispassionately as he waited for Jane. Other IncuBikers lounged about the room doing various makework, but they all gave off a tension as they waited for their leader to tell them their next move. Jane was still fastening a buckle on her chaps as she approached him. Michael looked up, his expression unchanged as his eyes focused intently on her. “I learned some…interesting things from our friend here. So interesting, in fact, that I think I might just trade him back to Kitten. Assuming that withered cunt has anything worth trading for his sorry ass.” He pushed at Tony’s shoulder, one of the few places not smeared with blood. The beaten man let out a semi-conscious moan. Michael nodded at Jane. “Seeing as you have had a prior and, shall we say, special relationship with them, I believe you would be the perfect person to go over and – ” he gave an ugly smile to Tony’s body, ” – negotiate.” His voice sharpened. [...]

Jun 172014

I suspected the young woman before me, petite and demure, was expecting just to be thrown over my knee cave-man style, skirt flipped up and panties pulled down before the walloping would commence. That approach has merit, to be sure, and while I’ve never embraced the full Daddy/girl dynamic there is a certain frisson of sexiness to the domestic disciplinarian. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be domestic. John Wayne teaching Maureen O’Hara the error of her ways on the streets of the wild west, that’s enough masturbatory fodder for years. I know this for a fact. However, that was not what I had in mind for her this evening. Our times together were too infrequent, her alabaster skin too pure and precious a thing to hurry the experience. No, it needed to be savored, and that meant, at least for now, that we would move slowly. I saw her eyes flit around the room, not so much looking for escape – she’d invited me here, after all – as much as dealing with the nervous energy that seemed to vibrate from her. She was still at the door where she’d let me in, bolts fastened, lights out so that [...]

"Savoring Little One": excerpt from Slave Girls Anthology
May 272014

There’s a class I’ve been wanting to create for a while now – ever since I saw Rigger Cannon hook up a Prussik-type knot on a pole at an event. It occurred to me that it might be useful for strippers to have some fast bondage skills to play around with during their sets. Among other things, if you’re wearing rope then you are both naked and also have more places for the clients to tuck the dollar bills, yes? Other sex workers – sexological body workers, escorts, pro-dommes – certainly could find some use for certain ties. It doesn’t have to be artistic kinbaku – a simple single-column tie can be used any number of ways. Most people want more of the fantasy than the reality of bondage, so a big “tie ‘em up & fuck ‘em” rope (that’s 15 ft of 5/8″ or bigger nylon, or 3m of 30mm or thicker for you civilized folks) would do just fine. Throw in a quick Texas Handcuff and you’ve got a tie that’s visually striking, easy to manage, and even somewhat effective. I know there’s a market for it…I’ve given some training sessions to pro-dommes, and been the “designated rigger” [...]

Rope Bondage for Sex Performers and Workers