The Things They Don’t Teach You

Harder Than It Looks...wait, no, that's NOT what I meant! Perv.

Recently my girlfriend DoNotGoGently and I teamed up with super-hot-fetish-model Ten to do a day of Damsel-in-Distress shooting with folks over at Beauties in Bondage.

It was a blast. Fun people to work with, and basically it was like when you played cops-and-robbers as a kid. I got to be the bad guy in several different scenarios, and you can watch the teaser for one of them or enjoy the screen captures.

But since this was video, we went for some level of verisimilitude, and that presented some interesting challenges on my end. For example, for the “Witness Protection” scenario, it called for me to “chloroform” the first witness and then disarm and choke out the Federal Marshal.

Now, the rough body play stuff? No problem. I had lots of fun with that, as did DNGG. But think about it: then I’m supposed to tie pretty and effective bondage on them while they are unconscious.

Dead weight. Limp limbs, a rubber spine, and no other help. Why don’t we offer “Tying the Unconscious” classes at Shibaricon, anyway?

And let’s add the fact that I was being all Actor-like, and decided that I really should be wearing my Sexy Leather Gloves so as not to leave fingerprints. Have you tried tying someone while you’re wearing leather gloves? Let me put it to you another way: if you’re going to be tying someone in leather gloves under a time- or performance-pressure situation, practice first.

Oh, and skin! Hate to tell you this, bottoms, but the real reason the answer to “Should I take this off?” is always “YES!” has nothing to do with your beautiful bodies. Rather, it’s because rope + skin < friction > rope + fabric + long beautiful hair.

These are skillsets that are severely lacking in the training of riggers all over the world. Maybe Chanta’s Bondage for Sex, Vol. 2 will have it. Or Douglas Kent’s Complete Shibari Vol. 4: Sweaters.

But we need more training than that. That was the easy shoot. The next shoot called for them to both be conscious and struggling while I tied them up.

Yeah. That’s right. Those of you who have tried tying pretty bondage on someone who is struggling will be chuckling; those of you who have seen DNGG actually fight are rolling on the floor guffawing. Various scenarios and ideas were put out, some of which had about as much relevance to reality as a Tarantino action movie. Sure, we had a prop gun – so I’m supposed to hold the gun on them and tie them at the same time? Or maybe hold to to my own head and yell “Hold it! Next slut makes a move, the Rigger gets it!” (1)

Yeah. You try it sometime. We came up with some creative solutions to the problem, and it was actually quite fun to do the role-playing. But I think, for those who are wanting to get into the insanely lucrative world of Damsel-in-Distress porn, Murphy Blue and I should teach a special series of classes at Shibaricon. Call it the “Snidely Whiplash” track:

  • TUF 101: Tying the Unconscious Form
  • TUF 102: Tying the Unconscious Form While Wearing Gloves
  • TUF 103: Tying the Sweater-Wearing Long-Haired Unconscious Form While Wearing Gloves
  • TUF 104: Lugging the Tied-Up Unconscious Form Up and Down Stairs
  • TUF 201: Tying the Other Sweater-Wearing Long-Haired Unconscious Form While Wearing Gloves Under Hot Lights and Still Trying to Look Sexy/Menacing/Not About to Go Into Cardiac Arrest.
  • ARM 101:  Agressive Ropesluts (Multiple)
  • ARGH 102: Agressive Ropeslut Gun Handling, aka “Yeah, right.”
  • ARGH 201: Tying Agressive Ropesluts One-Handed While Holding a Gun Realistically, aka “Good luck with that.”
  • Ex-Dream Roleplay 201: Finding Motivation for Rough Play with Aggressive Ropesluts (multiple)

Whaddaya think? I’m sure that it would be a fine addition to any rope curriculum…

1. I blame this joke on the fact that I’m writing from Mollena‘s room in San Francisco

2 thoughts on “The Things They Don’t Teach You

  • LOL! Go talk to DeLano, DID is one of his favourite things. He and I will be doing some DID scenarios for a shoot with Michele here in SF just before the Rope Dojo actually.

  • Excellent post! When I first saw the leather gloves, I thought damn sexy idea to cut down on rope burn on my hands or fingertips. I’d love a class on tying damsels in distress!

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