I’m going to be processing the experience of Midori’s Rope Dojo for quite some time – pages of notes in my moleskine, variations on ties I’ve been using for years as well as new ties I’ve never thought of uses for (dildo harness, here we cum…). There was also the transcendent beauty and power of the scene she did with Delano…
Sorry. Lost in the memory there for a bit. Suffice to say, it was hot. Powerful. Nifty. And any scene that starts with a Traditional Japanese Cthulthu harness has gotta be good.*
One of the most valuable parts of the dojo, and part of what makes it more than just a “how to tie that knot” experience, is the section on negotiating rope scenes. It’s thorough and fun and much hotter, in my opinion, than an 18-page questionnaire or even a flippant “So, you wanna try some stuff?” As part of the process, one person will “propose” a scene – a bit like the “Very Short Story” technique – and then the other person will temporize it, explaining what they’d like more of, less of, different.
In the second round of practicing, when we had a one-minute limit to both propose and edit, my conversation with my partner (a cis-male het-presenting rope top) went something like this:
Me: You know, I’ve been frustrated at the fact that I can’t seem to find a way to enjoy the ropes on my body. Since you’re into tying the fancy Japanese style stuff, perhaps we could do a scene where you gradually put me in more and more complex, layered bondage. I enjoy a struggle, so being able to push against it might be fun, kind of like a military interrogation/torture kind of thing. I think I’d also like to involve my partner DoNotGoGently, since I also tend to enjoy whatever scene I’m in more if there is a sexual component. Then we could -”
Delano: TIME! Ok, Person B, you have one minute to edit that scene. Go!
Person B: Well, I can get with most of what you said. I like the layers of bondage, and DoNotGoGently would be great to have there. There’s just one thing that doesn’t really work for me…that’s the whole military bondage thing. I’m not really interested in interrogation or torture. I’m more interested in making the successive layers of bondage more interesting through the use of different materials…
Me: Oh, like vet wrap, duct tape…
Person B: No, I was thinking more along the lines of strips of pig flesh.
Even now, I’m still trying to parse that. Bacon? Pigskin leather? Much as I’d like to say yes, that’s what he meant, it’s not what he said. He said “strips of pig flesh.”
I confess. He’s a nice guy. A pleasant person. I spent time in wonderful conversations with him after.
But I’m damn glad that was just a practice negotiation. Because frankly, he scares me.
Pig flesh. Hard limit. Cue rainbow, stars, harp sound effect: The More You Know.
*maybe you had to be there.