Graydancer

If you’ve listened to the latest Ropecast (and if you haven’t, why not? I’m hurt, really, I am) you know that in response to Lord Drachenblut’s request for free rope kits for listeners,

Twisted Monk and I will be giving away $50 gift certificates each month for the next four months.

That’s right, giving them away. Use it to buy a couple of lengths of your favorite, or towards a bigger kit, whatever. It’s yours. All you have to do is come up with a creative entry.

What do you mean, “creative”?

Exactly that. A picture. A poem. A story. A limerick. A drawing. An interpretive dance. Now, of course, I have to get it, and usually that involves either email or calling the Ropecast Hotline (608-432-KNOT). But I’m going to be at events, so I suppose hand-delivery is possible too.

But I’m not creative!

I would argue that, but Seth Godin does it better in his book Linchpin. Instead, I’ll make it easier for you:

• Write a pithy comment here, or phone it in to the Hotline, it counts as an entry.
• Everyone who has registered for a GRUE in the upcoming months (such as the Cleveland GRUE) will get an entry.
• If any of my sponsors – such as Twisted Monk (obviously) or Bound in Boston – tells me you frequented their business because of the ropecast, that counts as an entry.
• If you’re a “Graydancer’s Cuppa” member (see the upper right) you automatically get an entry.
• Pimp the Ropecast (www.ropecast.net) on your social media platform (or join the Facebook Fan Club) and you’ll get an entry!

How long do I have to try and be creative?

Every month’s “Theme” (and I’ll tell you this month’s theme for free: BIRTHDAY) lasts for four weeks. The first was launched Sunday the 21st of February, and the winner will be drawn at the Pancake Brunch at the Cleveland GRUE on March 21. That will also be when the next theme is announced, and the new gift certificate is up for grabs.

There’s gotta be a catch…

Yep! There is. The details above are all you’re gonna get in online form. The next theme, and more importantly, the winner of the gift certificate, will ONLY be announced on the Ropecast – and then it’s up to that individual to contact me and claim their prize.

In other words, if you don’t listen, you won’t know you won. Or how to win the next one.

Any other prizes?

What, $50 of  rope isn’t enough? Greedy…you must be a switch. OK, yes, there will be random awards for those entries which are deemed by my completely partial and biased panel of judges to be worthy of note. But that is incidental; the big prize is the $50 certificate, every month.

I’ll be posting the entries in my Gallery (or here, or wherever’s appropriate) as the contest goes on.

So go out there, and Ropeth!

That’s not exactly how he phrased the question, but I did get the following from an avowed “vanilla” listener to the Ropecast:

The one thing that still stumps me is the head space. My beloved wants me to tie her up and fuck her – Ok I’m good with that because I love her and at least intellectually I understand it. Hell I even like tying her up – but I have no emotional need to tie her up in the same way she has an emotional need to be tied up and fucked.

To put it another way, I like rope (a lot) and I like to tie her up but if I never tied her up again there would be no empty hole in my life. But – if she didn’t get tied up ever again she would miss something important – something I don’t understand on an emotional level.

I dunno – maybe it’s an unanswerable question – you get it or you don’t.

That is a good question – but first I have to give HUGE props to my vanilla friend here for being, as Dan Savage puts it, G-G-G (Good, Giving, Game). He listened to his wife’s needs (and notice he accepted them as needs, not just wants) and then did his best to meet them. Seems like he’s done so rather successfully, too. You ROCK, dude.

But what’s in it for him? He doesn’t say it that way, because he’s not the selfish bastard that I am, but it’s a valid question. Sure, you could do the whole “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” thing and she could deliver his fantasy of getting a blowjob while watching Glee and eating pancakes* but he wants to meet her at least part of the way in that experience of tying her up.

It’s an immensely valid question, and it reminds me of Cunning Minx’s tale of how she learned to like giving head. Her version of the tale is immensely entertaining, but to paraphrase: she didn’t, for a very long time. And as a result was not very good at it. Then a lucky and wise man asked her if she could find some aspect of it that she did like.

And she did. It wasn’t the physical part, or the taste, or being on her knees. I won’t spoil the tale by letting you know; you can ask her yourself (oh, I’m such an instigator!). But she did find something, and I think that’s the answer for my erstwhile vanilla friend.

Take a look at the whole act of rope bondage. One of the reasons I’ve loved it for so long (and have been able to talk about it for WAY too long) is because of the many parts of it:

• Naked flesh feels good in my hands.
• Rope feels good in my hands.
• It’s a puzzle: how do I tie her so I can do this? or that? Or even…wow!
• It’s a performance: How can I make the act of tying more graceful (or forceful or domly or sexy or insert adjective here)
• It’s a connection: hell with the knots and shit, her eyes are shining and it’s all because of ME.
• It’s a dance: I’m listening to Massive Attack (or Boss Hoss or Britney Spears or whatever) and the ropes and her and me are just moving.
• It’s a power exchange: I am in charge, and she is mine while she’s in the ropes. Hot.

You get the idea. There is probably some aspect of the rope bondage that you do like, my friend, and focus on that. Let that fill your mind during the act, and it becomes a shared experience.

Don’t be surprised, though, if you find that the parts that you like change, expand, or if it takes you both in a whole new direction. That is part of the fun.

*I’m speculating. But surely I can’t be the only one?

Recently, some files came into my possession. They appear to be “reports” written by a submissive to her dominant, telling him what kind of porn online turned her on, and why. In light of the controversy regarding whether or not women enjoy porn, I thought sharing these files with the world, along with suitable illustrations, might be a good idea.

Plus, there’s boobies. Part 1 of several follows:

Sir,

I spent a long time trying to do this, thoughts of you and your cock and hands….let’s just say I kept getting distracted.

Lorelei Lee and Daniel

This picture just got me wet and caused me to run for my dildo.  I want to be her. I have been unable to satisfy a growing urge lately.  I love the hands on her head and the threat of what looks like a cattle prod.  It doesn’t hurt that her mouth is wonderful and she looks beautiful sucking his cock.  I like that the image is so close you can see drool.

Yep, I NEED to see you Sir.

Madison Young on HogTied.com

Ok, for something a little different for me.  This image I find extremely beautiful.  I love the lines of her body, the marks.  I love the curve of her neck and even the way her hair is pulled back from her face. The rope, I think that it makes the picture all the more seductive to me.  She looks so fluid and the ropes are so tight.  This picture to me is so erotic without all the overt sexuality.  Maybe it is because with all the tight bondage she looks at peace, a place I love to find in the rope… when you find your breath and can feel every fiber.  It feels safe and so much like a lover’s embrace.  I could sit and stare at this picture for hours.  I have to admit that it is not one of those situations that makes me wet, but the sensuality of it gets me.

Isobel Wren on WaterBondage.com

Ok, I seem to have a thing for pretty girls in beautiful poses. I find this image stunning and painful and erotic.  I love that you can only slightly see her face behind her soaking hair.  I love the pose and the fact that her coat is still seemingly on, but she is completely exposed.  The rope around her legs I find very sensual, I would think that the texture of the rope would change and depending on what was used could become very uncomfortable when wet.  If that is rope, hard to tell.  I am feeling the sensual images this week, much more than the blatant sexuality.  Don’t get me wrong, fastest way to masturbation is blowjobs and penetration, but there is something about the images this time that makes my imagination go crazy.  It is a turn on to not see the sex, to not know if anyone else is there, to not see what’s coming.  Beautiful women in bondage…I think this week that’s what it’s about.  Who knew?

Derrick Pierce & Delilah Knight in Sex & Submission

Ok, thought I would hit on the stuff that gets me wet.  I do love these two.  This clip has a little bit of everything…rope, penetration, hair pulling, flogging.  Fucking and pain are two of my favorite thing and when combined, well, even better.  Having my hair pulled until I cry while being fucked is a new favorite thought.

Ah yes, it is that time, off to take care of something to help me sleep

Come back next Monday for part 2 of the Porn Reports…

Please, Ma’am: Erotic Stories of Male Submission, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, will be published by Cleis Press in June 2010.

Introduction will be posted soon. It is available for pre-order on Amazon.com.

Table of contents:

• Introduction
• I Live to Serve Teresa Noelle Roberts It’s Not Me It’s You Charlotte Stein
• A Charmed Life by Isabelle Gray
• A Maze, and Grace Elizabeth Coldwell
• Inside the Pride Remittance Girl
• Modern Major General Craig J. Sorensen
• Mr. February Madeline Elayne
• Frozen A.D.R. Forte
• Thrift Store Whore Sommer Marsden
• Porch Swing Dominic Santi
• Paypig Michael Hemmingson
• The Crack of the Bat Heidi Champa
• Dressing for Dinner Giselle Renarde
• Living Rough Ariel Graham
• Pick a Color by D.L. King
• Houseboy Rachel Kramer Bussel
• The Unhappy Table Lee Ash
• I’ll Do It. For Her. Graydancer

with special thanks and a dedication to JinxedKisses and DeviantTouch, hosts of the YoungAndKinky podcast, and current leaders of the Madison, WI Zombie Lurch. Addendum: Zombie lurch was originally founded by MadIvy, another insanely cool Madison person.

Presented for your edification this Halloween season, the definitive guide to RAZOR: Risk-Aware Zombie Orgasmic Restraint.

1. “BRAAAIIIINNNNNSSSSS!!” is not a safeword.
2. Circulation issues with zombie rope bondage? Not so much.
3. A blow to the head will kill, yes. Striking the ass, however, will stimulate a different kind of primal appetite.
4. The concept of “Fluid Bonding” has less to do with STIs and more to do with superglue, epoxy, & keeping limbs attached
5. “S/he fucked my brains out” is no longer really a good thing…also, the phrase “My girlfriend is late” may have a different meaning.
6. Likewise, “giving head” may not be the concept you are accustomed to. Beware of misunderstanding rope harness directions that say “Begin with a bight…”
   
7. Choking a zombie is the only form of breath play approved by Jay Wiseman. Note: “choke outs” may take a bit longer than usual.
8. In suspension, mats are unnecessary. Tarps, mops, Lysol, & buckets to catch spare parts may be useful for aftercare, though.
9. Shouting “It’s called necrophilia, and I’m a-gonna FEEL ya!” (or “FILL ya!“) is strangely appropriate in zombifuckery.
10. ZombiBondage is the only form of bondage where it is actually cheaper to literally cut your bottom out of the ropes, not vice versa.

This Risk Aware Zombie Orgasmic Restraint PSA is a service of www.Ropecast.net. Please be careful out there; remember, bights, not bites.

It’s the second most common question asked of riggers: “Where did you learn to do that?” Often the answer is “Shibaricon!” or, if they’re lucky, “Oh, I took a few of Max’s classes,” or “I went to one of Midori’s Rope Dojos with my partner, and…”

Occasionally, such as in the recent Ropecast interview with Claire Adams, the answer is “Self taught!” And there’s nothing wrong with that – but how do you teach yourself how to tie?

Get a Book!

If you’re a geek like me, the first thing you reach for when wanting to learn a new skill is a book. Hell, I was so much of a geek that when my friends asked me to come play basketball with them I went out and got three books from the library about the game! I learned all about the rules, about the names of the positions, about strategy and even the trajectory of the ball from a hook shot.

However, when I went to the court, that didn’t help me much. Why? Because I hadn’t bothered to watch a basketball game. Nor had I bothered to grab a ball and go and try out a few shots for practice. In other words, books only did so much. At some point I needed to watch and do.

The Sincerest Form

If you do rope, you should watch rope porn. Period. Look at the pictures, watch the videos, preferably with a partner. At some point, you’ll see some picture of someone tied up, and think “I’d like to do that!” Or maybe your partner sees a picture like this one:

Lilla Kat on Hogtied.com

…and says “You know, that looks like fun!”

So you decide to imitate it. You pull out the rope, she/he takes off her/his clothes, lays down and tries to fold into a pretzel, and usually a few things happen:

• You discover that KINK.com models are more flexible than you realized.
• You learn that braided nylon has a high burn rate.
• You learn that braided nylon requires bigger knots than hemp.
• You learn that bigger knots tend to dig into surprisingly uncomfortable places
• You learn that about the time that you adjust the surprisingly uncomfortable bigger knots, her/his feet are asleep
• You learn that it’s hard to have multiple orgasms like Lilla Kat when your feet are asleep

You learn all these things and more. And that’s the point where you reach for the book, or you go over some of the speed bondage tips Lee Harrington or Lqqkout or your humble author teaches. You take a few “practice runs” before you go for that polyorgasmic mindblowing scene.

But First, the Porn

However, it starts with inspiration. Going to sites like Hogtied, even just for a simple casting couch session, you can see how that breast tie you see everywhere can actually work in a scene – or just watch Lochai tie it and study the way he handles rope.

Damn that man knows how to sling some string!

But also watch the bottom, not for her reactions – because A) everybody reacts differently and B) remember they are performers, and while they may be enjoying themselves, they may also be exaggerating their reactions a tad. But watch how they handle their bodies, how they adjust in the ropes, how they move.

Watch for the Little Things

Here’s an example, going back to Lilla Katt. In this shoot, Lochai puts her in a gorgeous semi-suspended arabesque:

Stop ogling her boobies; I'm making a point here!

Now, if you were going to just put someone up in this, you might think “Hmm, the ankle needs to go up high; I’ll tie a nice thick [boola-boola/prussik/cat's paw/inverted Jovian Bowline with the half-dragon butterfly variation] and draw the ankle up.” That’s if you weren’t studying the picture. But notice that Lochai put an additional support rope around the upper thigh; I can almost guarantee you that it was not for decoration.

He may have done it because he knew she’d need it. He may have done it because she communicated to him that she could hold the position longer if he put a rope there. Whatever the reason, it’s something that you can see for yourself and already be prepared for it.

Because you watch rope porn.

So if you’re wondering if you can justify clicking on the Hogtied or Bound Gods or Chanta’s Bitches or Fucked and Bound links over there on the right, remember: you get a helluva lot of content for a lot cheaper than most conventions (with the exception of the GRUE, of course).

And besides, they make pretty, pretty noises:

Click to hear the pretty noises!

You may have heard that a lovely chap by the name of Monk will be attending the Hartford GRUE. He’s quite the twisted little fellow, with lots of maniacal ideas for bodies and rope and steel and such. He’s also been known to sell, on occasion, the FINEST HAND-CONDITIONED ORGANIC HEMP ROPE IN THE UNIVERSE!!

Oh, and he’s the official sponsor of a little podcast, too. FEATURING A TWO-PART INTERVIEW WITH CLAIRE-FUCKING-ADAMS, W000T!!1!

Ahem. Where was I? Ah, yes.

Here’s the thing: he also would like to help make sure that everyone coming to the Hartford GRUE has the opportunity to get the rope they want. Towards that end, he has put together the “GRUE Kit” for attendees. This basic kit consists of the aforesaid hemp rope, as follows: (Rope Size, rope length, number of ropes, retail cost):

6mm        30′        3        $99
6mm        15′        2        $33
8mm        30′        1        $33
4mm        15′       2        $33
Shears                            $ 5

I’m not good with math, but that adds up to a retail cost of $200 and change.

Hartford GRUE attendees get this kit for $159. Plus they won’t pay shipping, as he’s bringing it with him.

Or, if they want a special color, or a different kit, they can order any stock at 15% off.

If you want to buy the rope, contact Monk directly: Abbey phone 206-938-7527, via email, or via twitter (twisted monk).

This deal is ONLY for attendees of the Hartford GRUE. Hopefully we can extend it to other GRUEpees later, but for now, this is a test run.

Enjoy, and I’ll see you all there!

Graydancer begins the Final Ropecast…on his poor dying MacBook, anyway. Future episodes will be gratefully produced on a new MacBook Pro provided by an Anonymous Donor – to whom Graydancer and all Ropecast listeners owe a great debt of thanks.

Direct Download

Have you made plans for April 2010 yet? Make sure they include Beyond Leather – the third year for this event promises to be bigger and better than ever, with a pansexual kinky community-building atmosphere that can’t be beat. We’re trying to buy out the hotel this year, so register early, and get your rooms while you can! Visit either BeyondLeather.net or the Fetlife site for more information.

Also, the Hartford, CT GRUE is on a roll! Take a look at the plethora of kinksters coming or thinking about it on the FetLife page, and then contact Murphy Blue (bluerisk on FetLife) to find out how you can register.

Our main content is part one of an extensive interview with the amazing Claire Adams, of Clairebondage.com, SlavetoBondage.com, and the brand-new PetiteKink.com. You can also see some of her work on Kink.com by visiting some of the sample galleries like these (of course, the best stuff you get after you join).

You can email your comments to Graydancer, or call the Ropecast Hotline at 608-432-KNOT. Follow the Ropecast on twitter to find the next Ropecast Livestream, sometime during 9-12 or 9-13, with model Amaya Solace!