Stigma

It’s interesting being the token kinky sex blogger.

I’m here at the Blogworld expo, and things are winding down. There’s one or two other workshops I want to go to, and really hoping that I’ll get to have an interview with the Queen of Spain, but really? I’ve been back and forth along the expo floor, and have the all the schwag I can carry.

Which leaves networking, right? We network at these things, make friends, enjoy the new connections, hope for the little steps we all take towards actually getting maybe paid, or at least recognized for what we do.

Didja click on that link? Didja? You may wonder, if you did, why I put it there, because hey, there’s no mention of anything I did on that page. Which is also funny, because later I’ll link to the digital video of that panel, and you’ll see that I actually had quite a bit to say about the subject of ethics. Probably talked too much, in fact, as there were many smarter people than me there.

But I don’t blame Jeremy. The fact is, this is not the freewheeling atmosphere of Podcast Expo; there is an entire mini-track called “Godblogcon”, and there is an immense focus on the monetization, and also on how to get started. There’s the usual “join OUR network” (in case you’re wondering, I’m most inclined to join the one whose President saw me and said “Oh, do you know Violet Blue?” And whenever I talk about my podcast (the description of which has changed from “rope bondage” to “alternative sexuality and adult sex education”) there is a moment of panic in the eyes of the person I’m talking to.

Most of the time there is this kind of battle that goes on inside of them, the battle between “Wow, this is a strange guy, in spite of his affable nature, and I’m really uncomfortable with this subject matter,” and “I can’t be impolite, I have to say the same things I usually say.”

Which can be amusing. One nice young lady (note: link to her site removed at her request) said “Really? I’ve been hoping to meet someone in that field!” (which I found possible, but kind of a strange reaction, and she did close the conversation rather quickly after I said “you know, a lot of bondage models could use the resources on your site…”) or the rep from Podango who said “Ah…so…what makes you the expert to podcast about that subject?” (“Um…I’m good at tying up people and giving them great sexual experiences and then talking to others about it in entertaining ways?”).

They’re very polite. They’re very nice. But it was literally concern over the reaction of the conservative bloggers that kept one potential model for last night’s party from being tied – and that was the only reason, because she had been looking forward to it. But she’s part of a startup, and as their CEO said “We’re young. We don’t need those kinds of problems.”

Those kinds of problems.

And I find myself wondering: Where are my compatriots? Aside from the Queen of Spain, I do not know of any other sex bloggers here. No Violet, no Melissa Gira, no Regina Lynn, no Rachel Kramer Bussel…just me. Did I miss the memo that said we were all skipping this conference? Why aren’t we having a sex bloggers roundtable? Why are we waiting for conferences that it’s more “safe” at?

This isn’t really a rant…I’m sure there are reasons. But it’s kind of scary that at the first blogworld there can be sessions like “Whose winning the war of the blogosphere – Right or Left?” (War? What war? Since when is it territorial? I thought it was this thing called FREE SPEECH…).

Off to the rest of the ‘con…

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