Rope and Submission

Due to some…well, let’s call them re-negotiations between minx and I, the idea of submission and Dominance has been on my mind a lot lately.

It also came to light during a recent HotWriters meeting. This is a fine group of people, and they are all, if not blatantly kinky, then at least kink-friendly. So when one person announced prior to the meeting that she was having trouble figuring out the logistics of a D/s scene where the Dom had to hold the sub’s hands behind her back and, at the same time, put on a ball gag, several of us decided to do a demo. I was the Dom; the ball gag was provided by Ms. R; and XcrusedVelvetX was the demo-sub.

I’ve played with X before, and she’s a happy bottom–blisses out very nicely, and even with the demo, which was purely for research (really!) she had a big grin and a happy glow and a few requests for "clarification" ("I don’t know, how did that knee-in-the-back thing work again?"). She obviously really wanted to submit.

Whereas the other demo, which was me figuring out how a character in my novel would manage to overcome his torturer when his wrists were bound in a strappado style. Ms. R did the honors of binding my wrists behind my back, and held them up while another HotWriter took position as the torturer. We all speculated on what my available weapons were, how various blows were likely to land and the results, and eventually figured out the process by which my intrepid hero will triumph.

But not only was there never a time when I felt like submitting, but there was never really even a time when I felt vulnerable. I’m a big fan of leg sweeps and kicks and knees and head butts; I also, from lots of dance experience, am comfortable on the floor, or using other’s bodies as bases, and so there was never a moment when I felt that frisson of "what are they going to do to me?" And it makes me wonder more at that little psychological switch that seems to be in some of us, and not in others; the difference between surrendering and constantly evaluating the options to figure out what you can do next.

Not that surrendering is less, of course. I wish I could surrender, could relax into that headspace. Alas, my days are filled with just having to be the one having the ideas, not the one who gets subjected to them. Woe is me.

You’re not feeling sorry for me, are you?

Well, fine, have some smut, then. I’m not normally one for the Country Damsel in Distress look, but this gallery from Sex & Submission (see how cleverly I worked that into the theme?) really strikes a chord with me (a banjo chord, of course). Not just the fine ropework; nor even the hot fucking action.

No, it’s actually the second-to-last image that gets me; it’s that expression of connection, of energy pouring from him and her drinking it in so completely. Say what you like about actors and such; there is work, yes, but sometimes people really enjoy their work; just check out Behind the Kink to see how they really feel.

Now, I’m going to check out the MPEG gallery, I think…it’s a lazy holiday weekend, what better to do than surf porn?

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