An Open Letter to SF Weekly’s Matt Smith

This is in response to Matt Smith’s article “Whipped and Gagged” which is, happily, being lambasted by the kink community, especially those who actually work for KINK.com.

I used to idealize San Francisco as a bastion of free expression and sexual maturity. As a father of four grown daughters, I have often despaired at the puerile immaturity of our American culture as a whole, and I raised my girls to be aware of their bodies and most of all never let ANYONE tell them what they can or can’t do with them – whether it be a husband, a girlfriend, a doctor, or a ignorant lazy yellow journalist looking for a quick story guaranteed to raise the self-righteous hackles of the sexually repressed “vanilla” minority.

So I’m going to take this article with me to coffee with my youngest daughter today, who’s 18, and show her just what it is that she’s up against – people who want to tell her what she can or can’t do. Being ashamed of sexuality is like being ashamed of your heartbeat.

I’ve worked for kink.com, and am by profession a videographer, though not until recently of porn. My work has been shown worldwide and gotten awards – and while my porn won’t, I suspect, I’m still just as proud of it, and have as much respect for the performers in it.

I must confess to one fantasy I’m a bit ashamed of, though. It involves the fact that newspapers are having to lay off reporters, and the idea that maybe, just maybe, they’ll lay off the lazy non-fact-checking boycott-inducing typists like Matt first…and he’ll discover, due to his “economic situation” that the “only” recourse he has is to advertise his services – which seem to involve mainly recycling shit – in the back pages of the very paper he used to work for.

I know. It’s sad and nasty and not fair to all those legitimate sex workers who are there. But hey, it’s a fantasy, what can I do?

I’ll be in my bunk.

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