The Female Rigger’s Guide for Graydancer

It is my lot, it seems, to know really cool people. Such as Parker, aka RopeBoi, who penned this response to yesterday’s post:

1. Before leaving for any social function, check to make sure that you
are wearing a kilt.  Make sure it is your own kilt, and not another
rigger’s, which you may have accidentally picked up in a comedic
kilt-dry-cleaning mix-up or when you hastily grabbed it from pile of
kilts after a torrid rendezvous with several other male riggers.  (An
apron may be an acceptable substitute for a kilt in an emergency.)

2. Make sure you are not wearing any underwear.  Wearing underwear
with a kilt is an embarrassingly gauche fashion gaff, even worse than
wearing socks with sandals.  And of course fashion is highly important
for rope bondage.

3.  When confronted with a horde of topless bouncing female fans
shouting your name, the polite reply is to smile and graciously thank
these fans for their salute, then stride confidently on to the far end
of the dungeon.  Hefting one of the fans over your shoulder and
carrying her with you is optional.

4.  Modesty is a virtue.  Self-deprecating humor is always endearing.
Introductions like “I’m totally unqualified to teach this class” will
win you over with many people and guarantee that groups will invite
you back.

5.  Do not ever edit podcasts.  Do not bother with sound editing
programs such as Audacity or Logik, or even bother downloading them to
your computer.  Those programs are for losers who do not appreciate
the hotness of raw, rough, unedited sound.

6.  Accept that hot girls will follow you around hoping that they can
be of use to you.  It’s best to find something for them to do, so they
feel helpful, and also because many of them are amazing people whose
assistance and attractiveness might actually make you happier.

7. The advice column is an outmoded form.  Instead of belaboring its
demise or going down with it, consider other more innovative forms of
expression, such as Oulipo, kumihino, or mumblecore,

8.  Everyone gets your sarcasm.  Really.  If they seem not to,
consider that perhaps it is *you* who do not get *their* sarcasm.

9. Dance, Gray, dance!

Ready to Dance...

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