R is for Rope, of course…

Rope Bondage for the A to Z Challenge

Rope Bondage

I suppose I could have tried to come up with some clever reason not  to have R stand for Rope, but it would be a bit disingenuous. Rope has been the vehicle through which I have traveled further than I ever thought possible, loved deeper than I ever knew possible, and benefited more than I ever could have dreamed possi – eh, you get the idea.

Rather than get all frou-frou with the language, here are the basics about why I have such an affinity for rope:

  1. Rope is Cheap. True fact: I bought my first real bondage rope (blue MFP from Rainbow Rope) at International Mr. Leather simply because I couldn’t afford any of the fancy leather and metal toys. Why did I buy that particular rope? Because…
  2. Rope is Hot. I had been surfing kinky porn, like most people, and found myself continually coming back to two particular sites: Fetish Nation by Ian Rath and NawaShibari by James Mogul. Models like Masuimi Max, Sinnamon Love, and Madison Young put themselves in positions that resonated on a visceral level with my sexuality. Rope got me off, and when it didn’t, it satisfied on other levels because…
  3. Rope is Artsy. The “Dancer” part of my name comes from my years of training and work in the performance art community. Yeah, I am one of those people who can be riveted by the weirdness of Marina Abramovic or Stelarc and once thrilled that I stood next to Lou Reed in NYC not because of his work but because he’s married to frikkin’ Laurie Anderson! So as I learned that there is an element of the artistic to things like kinbaku and fetish, I began to look at the rope not only as a sexual outlet, but also as an artistic one. It helps that…
  4. Rope is Performative. There is a time-basis to rope play, because of the number of steps involved in most ties, the limitations of the body you’re tying, and other factors. While some are drawn to photography of rope, I am much more inclined towards its relation to dance: beginning, middle, end, movement and timing and dynamic range. Sometimes the audience I am performing for is myself, sometimes it’s a partner, sometimes it’s a room full of hundreds of people I don’t know. Doesn’t matter; like any dance, the best performances rely on the fact that…
  5. Rope is ConnectiveOk, it’s kind of in the whole purpose of rope to begin with, but the fact is that rope brings things together. It connects things, wrapping them, flowing between them, creating another medium of communication between them. That connection may last only a few seconds, or it can last thousands of years, because…
  6. Rope is Historic. Yeah, there’s lots of arguments about where this tie came from and what is authentically this or that and who inspired who and what is culturally appropriated from which. I find it immensely entertaining (hint: I’ll stop wearing kimonos when the Japanese stop wearing suits) but the fact is these arguments would not be possible if there weren’t a wealth of history and legend to draw from. I remember standing in the Sackler museum in D.C., looking at a story scroll showing samurai taking demons prisoner – and there, from a millenia ago, was the same tie that I’d learned from a friend returning from Japan. It was a humbling moment, in fact, and one that I don’t think anyone else there could have understood, because…
  7. Rope is Subtle. You don’t have to be into the hoity-toity Japanese art form or the hard core sexually broken bondage or even the sensual safety of rope. You can just have a length you keep under your pillow that your lover gave you. You can have a bit tied to your backpack, a memory of a good scene. I once had a lover who asked me to tie a chest harness on her before she went off to her job at a preschool. Why? Not to get her off, but because it improved her posture. Throw a sweater on, no one’s the wiser. Of course, it got me off, because…
  8. Rope Requires Will. If I come at a partner with a flogger, she knows what I intend. Likewise a dildo, or a hitachi, or a pair of cuffs. But if I come at her with a length of rope…she don’t know what’s happening next. Is it going to whip her? Sensually caress her? Tie her in a position to be fucked? Turned into a dildo to do the fucking? Suspend her? Suspend me? Decorate her? She doesn’t know until I choose to exercise my will on the rope. Until then, it’s not anything but rope. And that makes it, in my mind, the ultimate domly sex toy that’s not already a part of his or her body.

grueclassSo, if you’re ever wondering “What is it about rope that Gray likes so much?“- Now you know.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.