Please tell me a little more about that. What does it entail?
So informal would be you saying “Gray, here, have a cigar…” and handing me one at just the right time.
Formal would be you in full kink regalia, kneeling, head bowed, and presenting a silver tray on which was a selection of cigars…
Then there’s the process of preparing it…which, in the short version, is wet it, cut it, light it, suck it. (Thanks, Daddy Wendell!)
So “wetting it” can be, as you’ve noticed, quite the exhibitionistic/suggestive act.
or you can go the “Lewinsky” route, depending on tastes.
In fact, warming a cigar can be a part of service – which I’ve seen being done by a slave at an event using a lighter, her face intent as she toasted the length of the cigar she was preparing for her master.
On the other end (literally) I’ve had women carry condom-covered cigars in their pussies, which warms them quite nicely. I call that technique the “humandor” (as opposed to “humidor”).
Cutting it is also a matter of preference – there’s guillotine, notch, assassin cut, punches…or, my favorite, combining a sharp knife running close to your neck as I cut a slit in my own cigar.
Then lighting, which can be me holding the cigar in my mouth and puffing while you hold the match/lighter/flaming torch (all a matter of preference & availability) or you could light the cigar completely (there’s a technique to getting it lit correctly) and just hand me the ready-to-puff cigar.
Kind of like presenting a perfect cup of coffee.
During the cigar play, service can be holding the cigar (in anything that can form a cleft, so that gets fun) or being a “puffer” (keeping it lit while I’m busy doing something else) or holding my drink, my ashtray, or serving as a way for my ash to be disposed of.
That act – ashing – can range from a devoted and loving ritual to a humiliating objectification, depending on the mood between the two. And that’s where you get into things like sensation play and power exchange, which is a whole other area.
At the end of the cigar, disposing of the end of it is also a service that is nice – the genteel way is to just let it burn out, so a service provider kneeling prettily, holding a cigar patiently as it goes out is one of my favorite sights.
Of course, I’ve also done things like put it between their toes when it was lit, and then finger-fucked their cunt while I face-fucked them, enjoying them trying to hold off their orgasm until after the cigar goes out (since that makes toes curl, which you usually don’t want to do with a lit cigar)
Less elegant, but quite enjoyable. It’s why “hearing Graydancer’s Kilt Sing” is a fetlife fetish.
(ahem. In case you haven’t noticed, I can go on literally for hours about cigars & cigar play. But that’s a primer for service).
You can find out more about cigar play and much more on Kink Academy from Graydancer and other kink instructors such as Sarah Sloane. You can also order a DVD of his Cigar Play series by clicking below: