And what are these entries, you ask? Well, they’ve been in many forms. Such as nifty ideas:

My idea is such (and could work for a male or female getting tied up): birthday boy or girl tied to a table spread eagle. Candles (wax play option for those who want it!) set around the body and the birthday cake set on the tummy of the boundee. Optional additional frosting decorations, or rope belt for holding in the vibrator in appropriate places. – Mildred

There are the poetical types:

There once was a submissive from Lear,
who held his rope collection quite dear.
He loved puppy play
not for the cage where hed stay,
but for the seven birthday parties a year.

-Vague

There are the literal-minded types like model Kari Marie:

It may not be as exciting as wax play and birthday cake, but dammit, it’s still birthday bondage.

And then there are those like Ganymancer, who went through a whole suspension scene with yours truly and then wrote about it quite eloquently, as well as contributing pictures:

Ganymancer, um...ganymancing?

Then there are some who know me well, old-fashioned guy that I am, and just went on ahead and sent boobies:

Batty Janice Bound by B.Playful

They’re all creative, and they’re all getting entries into the drawing, which will be held at the Cleveland GRUE pancake brunch on Sunday, March 21. But if you don’t make the GRUE (and really, that will make me very sad) you won’t find out if you won here. Or anywhere else online, ontweet, onblog, etc.

You’ll only find out if you listen to the ROPECAST. And that’s also where you’ll find out the theme of the next month’s contest…because that’s right, as soon as this one’s done, we’ve got another $50 Gift Certificate to just give away.

See? You ask for free rope, I give you free rope. Next time ask for something hard, like a stable poly triad, or a telepathic dom…

Send your entries to graydancer@gmail.com, or call in to the Ropecast Hotline at 608-432-KNOT!

• Conditioning Rope,
• Rope Academy graduates on what bondage means,
• updates on Cleveland GRUE,
• BoundinBoston,
• Best Sex Bloggers wants you on their 2011 Calendar!
• Dov on the loneliness of the long-distance rigger.
• Graydancer answers Midori’s questions on Poly vs. Dating!

Ganymancer and Graydancer at Rope Academy

You asked in your ropecast, so I thought I’d write in telling you what I get out of rope…

When I’m suspended in rope, I am able to be entirely present in the moment.  It’s not like that the entire time, to be sure – my insecurities pop up, I hear the sounds of people around me, I see people around me, I wonder what they’re thinking of me, I hear a laugh and maybe wonder if they’re laughing at me – but for most of the time, I’m in the moment.  I’m not thinking about work, about how my ex did me wrong, about things I should have said or shouldn’t have said… When I’m flying, these worries are off my mind.

I’m in my body.  A wealth of sensations are available to me.  Beyond the rope itself, beyond the pressure and the texture, I feel weight borne by my body in ways it usually isn’t, unfamiliar motion, and those limbs which aren’t entirely fixed have limitations on their range of motion.  The limbs that are completely bound have their own sensations, which I can change and play with.  And as I spin I can experience vertigo and dizziness and disorientation, and completely change my experience by lowering or raising or turning my head.

It also gives me a unique opportunity to practice the disciplines of my body – flexing or relaxing muscles, or intentionally increasing or decreasing circulation to some part of my body; breathing with different parts of my lungs; finding different ways to bear or distribute my weight in an entirely new context; channeling the pain or discomfort I feel, not unlike receiving a flogging but without breaks, without pause…

And sometimes, rope is a hug that will not relent.  It is carefully applied attention.  It is affection that continues, moves with me, and spreads as more rope is added.  As my whole body, from the hair on my head, down my chest, around my hips and my legs, and even my toes, all are bound, my skin is constantly telling me about all of that attention I have received.  And then the manhandling starts.

And all that’s just from this past weekend…  =]  It’s been on my mind.

When I put rope on others, it’s more complicated for me.  I find it less physical, more mental, emotional, social.  When I make someone unable to move, thoroughly vulnerable, I get a rush of power and responsibility.  Usually when I top in any form it involves being in a caretaker role, but with secure bondage it immediately starts involving even the most trivial of responsibilities.  Whether on the scale of scratching an itch or the scale of moving to a better (or worse) position, the power exchange moves immediately from “I could conceivably fight you off at any moment” to “if I changed my mind there is nothing I could do without your help.”

And that’s not even to mention how the changes which rope causes in the bottom influence me…  if I’m doing something to a partner which clearly turns them on, that gets me going too.  So, horny rope bottoms make it better.

But much of what I’ve said here could be said about bondage other than rope…  I guess the three big differences for me are: first, when looking at a rope one can’t tell what will happen next.  Second, the application of it requires attention and knowledge beyond “wrist goes in, velcro closes” so it feels more intentional, more of an act of creation than the use of a specialized tool.  Third, the process of putting it on, whether it takes only a few moments or a long time, feels like a journey – I guess I’d make a parallel to the difference between flying for an hour vs walking four hours; even if I haven’t traveled as far, I feel like I’ve actually gone somewhere different. It’s liminal.

Thanks for binding me and making me fly.

Warmly,

Ganymancer

P.S. Happy Birthday Ropecast!

I’m going to be working with Miss Behavin’ and also Naiia to do two works. The second isn’t titled yet, but the first, with Miss Behavin’, is called “WITNESS” and it’s based on a concept I read in Alastair Reynold’s House of Suns.

In it, a woman expresses what I actually could see as a valid argument for monogamy (not that “cuz I like monogamy” isn’t valid, this one is just more logical to my mind). She talks about the idea of sharing an experience, just the two of you – in the book, I believe she uses a sunset as an example – and the fact that by sharing that experience, you each get 1/2 a memory – and that the full memory of that experience will only be complete when the two of you are together.

I am intrigued by this idea, and it forms the basis for the work “WITNESS.” Special thanks to the folks at the Secret Ingredient Collective, especially Delicate Mich, for re-inspiring me.

Twisted Monk and I will be giving away $50 gift certificates each month for the next four months.

That’s right, giving them away. Use it to buy a couple of lengths of your favorite, or towards a bigger kit, whatever. It’s yours. All you have to do is come up with a creative entry.

What do you mean, “creative”?

Exactly that. A picture. A poem. A story. A limerick. A drawing. An interpretive dance. Now, of course, I have to get it, and usually that involves either email or calling the Ropecast Hotline (608-432-KNOT). But I’m going to be at events, so I suppose hand-delivery is possible too.

But I’m not creative!

I would argue that, but Seth Godin does it better in his book Linchpin. Instead, I’ll make it easier for you:

• Write a pithy comment here, or phone it in to the Hotline, it counts as an entry.
• Everyone who has registered for a GRUE in the upcoming months (such as the Cleveland GRUE) will get an entry.
• If any of my sponsors – such as Twisted Monk (obviously) or Bound in Boston – tells me you frequented their business because of the ropecast, that counts as an entry.
• If you’re a “Graydancer’s Cuppa” member (see the upper right) you automatically get an entry.
• Pimp the Ropecast (www.ropecast.net) on your social media platform (or join the Facebook Fan Club) and you’ll get an entry!

How long do I have to try and be creative?

Every month’s “Theme” (and I’ll tell you this month’s theme for free: BIRTHDAY) lasts for four weeks. The first was launched Sunday the 21st of February, and the winner will be drawn at the Pancake Brunch at the Cleveland GRUE on March 21. That will also be when the next theme is announced, and the new gift certificate is up for grabs.

There’s gotta be a catch…

Yep! There is. The details above are all you’re gonna get in online form. The next theme, and more importantly, the winner of the gift certificate, will ONLY be announced on the Ropecast – and then it’s up to that individual to contact me and claim their prize.

In other words, if you don’t listen, you won’t know you won. Or how to win the next one.

Any other prizes?

What, $50 of  rope isn’t enough? Greedy…you must be a switch. OK, yes, there will be random awards for those entries which are deemed by my completely partial and biased panel of judges to be worthy of note. But that is incidental; the big prize is the $50 certificate, every month.

I’ll be posting the entries in my Gallery (or here, or wherever’s appropriate) as the contest goes on.

So go out there, and Ropeth!

The one thing that still stumps me is the head space. My beloved wants me to tie her up and fuck her – Ok I’m good with that because I love her and at least intellectually I understand it. Hell I even like tying her up – but I have no emotional need to tie her up in the same way she has an emotional need to be tied up and fucked.

To put it another way, I like rope (a lot) and I like to tie her up but if I never tied her up again there would be no empty hole in my life. But – if she didn’t get tied up ever again she would miss something important – something I don’t understand on an emotional level.

I dunno – maybe it’s an unanswerable question – you get it or you don’t.

That is a good question – but first I have to give HUGE props to my vanilla friend here for being, as Dan Savage puts it, G-G-G (Good, Giving, Game). He listened to his wife’s needs (and notice he accepted them as needs, not just wants) and then did his best to meet them. Seems like he’s done so rather successfully, too. You ROCK, dude.

But what’s in it for him? He doesn’t say it that way, because he’s not the selfish bastard that I am, but it’s a valid question. Sure, you could do the whole “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” thing and she could deliver his fantasy of getting a blowjob while watching Glee and eating pancakes* but he wants to meet her at least part of the way in that experience of tying her up.

It’s an immensely valid question, and it reminds me of Cunning Minx’s tale of how she learned to like giving head. Her version of the tale is immensely entertaining, but to paraphrase: she didn’t, for a very long time. And as a result was not very good at it. Then a lucky and wise man asked her if she could find some aspect of it that she did like.

And she did. It wasn’t the physical part, or the taste, or being on her knees. I won’t spoil the tale by letting you know; you can ask her yourself (oh, I’m such an instigator!). But she did find something, and I think that’s the answer for my erstwhile vanilla friend.

Take a look at the whole act of rope bondage. One of the reasons I’ve loved it for so long (and have been able to talk about it for WAY too long) is because of the many parts of it:

• Naked flesh feels good in my hands.
• Rope feels good in my hands.
• It’s a puzzle: how do I tie her so I can do this? or that? Or even…wow!
• It’s a performance: How can I make the act of tying more graceful (or forceful or domly or sexy or insert adjective here)
• It’s a connection: hell with the knots and shit, her eyes are shining and it’s all because of ME.
• It’s a dance: I’m listening to Massive Attack (or Boss Hoss or Britney Spears or whatever) and the ropes and her and me are just moving.
• It’s a power exchange: I am in charge, and she is mine while she’s in the ropes. Hot.

You get the idea. There is probably some aspect of the rope bondage that you do like, my friend, and focus on that. Let that fill your mind during the act, and it becomes a shared experience.

Don’t be surprised, though, if you find that the parts that you like change, expand, or if it takes you both in a whole new direction. That is part of the fun.

*I’m speculating. But surely I can’t be the only one?

Im very curious to get to one of these -the 20 minutes, no more! format sounds like a pretty intense creative constraint, and I can see why people come out of them practically exploding with ideas…

On Saturday, January 30th the hottest event of the winter returns for a night of dancing, debauchery, and awesome costumes! That’s right freaks, it’s the return of last year’s wildly successful FIRE BALL – featuring a dance party with DJ CHEN-CHENG, belly dancing, burlesque, and fetish demos. Plus, it’s your night to shine with our masquerade theme prompting any and all to don their finest party duds (anything from steampunk to sci-fi, Victorian to Renaissance, fetish to haute couture). We’ll have a photographer on hand to document all the fabulous fashions!

We’ve got an excellent line-up of performers for you, too:

• MISS TAMALE (sizzling burlesque all the way from Chicago)
• ASHAR DANCE COMPANY (belly dance from right here in Madison)
• SABLE SIN CYR (classic burlesque by way of Baltimore)
• THE TWINS (a darkly funny sister act)
• FOXY VERONICA’S PEACH PIES (hometown caburlesque)
• GRAYDANCER (bondage performer)

We can’t wait to see you there! For more info, keep an eye on www.dane101.com

That’s THE FIRE BALL II: FIRE BALLSIER
Saturday, January 30th at the High Noon Saloon
9:00 p.m., $7/door, 21+