“What about fake boobs?” she wrote me in her typical direct, demanding, and concise fashion. “Do you have worry about them, like, exploding or something when you suspend people?”

Actually, to be fair to another writer (and she is an exceptional one) she may not have phrased it exactly like that. I have to paraphrase, because I can’t find the original question. To the best of my knowledge, we’ve only actually been in the same place once - last year’s Shibaricon - and we didn’t get a chance to do more than say “hey” from across the room.

However, we touch base tangentially through various social networks such as MySpace, LiveJournal (back when I was still an addict), more recently through Fetlife and Twitter (where we’ve actually had some fairly hot Direct-Message humiliation play).

In case you’re wondering about how that works, well, it’s something like this. She posted a tweet about how she was about to get off by masturbating with a hairbrush, and I sent her an appreciative “Wow, that’s classy!” tweet back. That’s how it began:

Thank you vibrators are only for good girls.

Then definitely no vibrators for you. Too bad there’s not a toilet brush handy. More appropriate for a trollop like you.

u r such a tease. and distracting me from bruising my pussy and getting off. damn you.

Bullshit. You’re getting hotter at the thought of being fucked by a mop handle on the filthy floor of a men’s room, whore. You’d love to crawl on the floor thu puddles of piss & cum to lift your ass for another beating. Makes you wetter, no? (long pause) And now you’re just using my tweets to get off, not even bothering to respond. Selfish, BAD girl. So lucky you’re far off.

sorry. i was busy kneeling in my bay window overlooking the street and the other apartments pressing my tits on the glass and finger-fucking.

I figured as much. Too bad it’s nothing your neighbors haven’t seen before, eh? You should branch out, try a truck stop. Those guys might be desperate enough to be turned on by your scrawny bruised ass and desperately eager cunt.

i’m a sinfully lazy humiliation-whore. but i thought about you the whole time. so i am redeemed.

Aw, you did? That does redeem you, and makes me feel all glowy. Er. Domly and glowy, that is. (ahem) Grrr.

yay now when i submit to unsolicited boobies of the day you’ll post me. and maybe you’ll answer my ??? about fake tits

Sure…you mean ignoring you wasn’t turning you on? Whups. My bad. You want a public answer or a private one?

ignoring me hurt my feelings. then i realized i was wet. personally i think everyone should know about fake tits and their impact on SM. Just don’t use my real name. “M” is fine. so excited. i was always curious if going silicone would ruin my love of suspension.

M's Unsolicited Boobies of the Day

That’s right, not just unsolicited, but decorated. Now, that’s class. I’ve decorated boobies with text before, and instigated others to do it, and supposedly I have a very nice set of pics of a certain redhead’s ass with my name on it coming my way, but this kind of sudden, gritty, unasked-for humiliation (I mean, she’s a writer, and she couldn’t even write an “R” correctly!) was…stunning. I berated her later because I was surprisingly turned on at seeing this, and the last thing I needed was another kink. However, since she assured me she, too, was turned on, vengeance is mine.

Oh, and as to the question? Well, a few things come to mind.

First, stop calling them “fake.” They are real breasts that have been augmented, by the same principle your skin is augmented by high-priced emollients, your teeth are augmented by braces, and your entire body is augmented by that exercise equipment you pay money to go use. Similarly, don’t ever call them “women who are fake” in my presence, because I will stab you in the throat with a spoon, so help me I will. I’ve known a lot of women who have had their breasts augmented, for reasons from “My husband wanted me to” to “After my three kids, I wanted my boobs back” to “I wanted to make more money, dammit,” and regardless of the reason, it’s their fucking body, ok, who are you to judge?

That’s not to say you can’t have a preference, of course. Personally, I often quote Will Rogers in that area: I never met a breast I didn’t like. Just don’t be judgmental about it, ok?

Now, on to the pragmatics. Can you do suspension with augmented breasts?

Yes.

Here’s my own proof:

Symetrie's graduation present

That is Symetrie, an experienced fetish model who has been my fellow performer and play partner for several years now (in fact, she’s a major part of the reason I kept the “Ninja Sex Poodle” epithet). When we first started playing, I asked her if there were anything in particular I should worry about when tying her wonderful boobies. Her response? “Nah, not really.” (She went to the Philip the Foole school of negotiation, I believe). I’ve suspended her in many, many, many wonderful ways, and the only thing we’ve had troubles with is living 5 hours apart so it only happens once in a blue moon.

But her augmented boobies (with extra decorations, you may note). Not a problem at all.

More on this in an upcoming ropecast, when I’ll hopefully interview with a much wider experience with boobies than myself: Lochai.

Today’s Solstice Eve Boobs come from LilyPlays of St. Louis MO, co-founder of the “GRUE in the ‘Lou” last year and a fantastic rope bottom (and rope maker) in her own right:

Is that not a perfect advertisment for her rope?

Don’t look now, but there’ve been a very happy series of Unsolicited Boobies of the Day appearing in my inBox. In fact, I think it’s just possible that we’ll be able to have a new Unsolicited Boobies of the Day all the way through Solstice (my own personal holiday). Who knows? Perhaps the fact that Hannukah starts the same day will inspire a bunch of gelt-ridden Boobies of the Day to appear unsolicited in my e-mail. That would take us through Xmas, and perhaps even past into the New Year.

I don’t know - the whole point is that they are Unsolicited, so this is my NOT asking you to send them. If you do, however, I will be grateful.

And so will others. My girlfriend Ms. Behavin’ was over when F.M. sent in this fine example of male boobage (and more).

Love the show!  I thought I’d send you a possible ‘Unsolicited Boobies
of the Day,’ although since this picture has a bit more than boobies,
I’m not completely sure if it fits the theme.  (It does feature me in
nipple clamps, though, so that should fit the spirit, right?)

Right! In fact, Ms. Behavin’s exact words were “Frikkin’ AWESOME!” He also shared the link to his Flickr page, which contain some beautiful examples of a slave’s devotion to his Mistress, as well as illustrating a problem I hear is common to people who do chastity play: that is, getting the cock soft enough to get the damn device on!

F.M.'s Unsolicited Boobies of the Day

Thanks, F.M., for sharing.

Tomorrow’s Unsolicited Boobies come from a dear friend right here in the heartland of America… so come back and see ‘em!

Many thanks go to Lupo and Calliope, a couple of Ropecast listeners and also fans of Nawashi and Jujun. They made my morning with a beatifully accessorized little image of her lovely left breast. One thing that I especially have to compliment her on is her nipples - they bring to mind the fact that even with a purely aesthetic viewpoint, one of the wondrous things about boobies is that they are so individual. Which is why, while there are “standard” ways of tying breasts with rope, I personally believe it is a mark of a true rope artist to treat every new bosom as a blank canvas, and bring out the beauty inherent in them, rather than trying to force them into following some book’s specific model.

And remember the wise words of my fellow Oklahoman (and rope artist) Will Rogers: “I never met a breast I didn’t like.”

Incidentally, the Debauched Diva recently wrote about the “Myths of a Sex Blogger” and included the fact that, as much as she enjoys cocks in theory and practice, unsolicited cock photos is not her favorite thing to find in her inbox (no pun intended). I understand this, not being terribly aesthetically excited about cocks myself, but it makes me wonder why no one I know minds booby photos, but nobody likes cock photos…and, to my knowledge, ass shots are rare and pussy shots are almost unheard of. Am I wrong in these assumptions? And more to the point, why? It may be the aforementioned lovely variety of nipple, curve, and shape; it may the common mammalian instinct.

Inquiring minds etc…

Today’s Unsolicited Boobies of the Day come all the way from Germany! Berlin, in fact, which recently was graced by the subject of the previous entry, Sabrina Fox. (Denmark? What do you mean, Denmark? Who would be dumb enough to think that DE was anything but Deutschlande?)

And while Miss Sparks, the owner of said boobies, apologized for the pic being all “artsy-fartsy” (aka, Mac “Photobooth set to GLOW!”) I assured her that the warm surrealism and flowing skin was…well, ok, it’s just HOT.

So thank you, Miss Sparks!

Unsolicited Boobies from Denmark

This morning I got a rare treat - in fact, it’s the first time it’s ever happened in over a year of dating. I got to make breakfast for my very own Ms. Behavin.’ For those of you who ever followed my LiveJournal, I used to post pictures of my various breakfasts, occasionally with people in various states of deshabille. I don’t do LJ anymore, but I do sometimes post pictures of breakfasts to my flickr page, and I decided this one was worth a picture.

Much to my surprise, she decided to flash me as I took the pic, saying “There! Those can be your Unsolicited Boobies of the Day!”

Have I ever mentioned this woman is way cool?

Incidentally, I told her that people would be glad to see them, and her response was “Eh, people are tired of them. They’ve seen them so many times…” I heartily disagreed, and we decided the only way to solve this is…a survey! SoClick Here to take survey and make your voice known

The beautiful necklace is the one mentioned in “NaNoWriMo with Graydancer,” and won by a fine bloke in Canada. There will be a lot of sex, violence, and magic going on around that necklace in the upcoming NaNoWriMo novel - and she’s decided that a full line of jewelry inspired by the Sex Magi books is percolating in her creative brain. So if you’re interested…watch this space.

Of course, with boobies like this, what else would you watch?

The only thing better than Unsolicited Boobies is Unsolicited Boobies for a cause. In this case, my friend SaylaMarz is trying to raise last-ditch money for this years Boobiethon ( a yearly fundraiser put on by bloggers to raise money for breast cancer research and awareness). It’s probably too late to “submit your rack” as the website encourages, but as of this writing they’ve raised $8,891. We’d love to have it go over $10,000. So please, if you can, if you like boobies, if you have boobies, help us do some good for smut. Or some smut for good. Whatever.

Boobies.

Kind of funny, since “manboobs” and their perceived attractiveness or not was a primary subject of “binding the male form,” a workshop at the Toronto GRUE. More on that later, but this arrived in the email during the day. So thanks, DW, for the most beautiful male breast I’ve ever seen.

Today’s Unsolicited Boobies came through a message in one of the few social networks I still participate in. My hometown roller derby team, the Mad Rollin’ Dolls, has come up with a pretty cool way to raise money to fight breast cancer.

They’ve had plaster casts made of the chests of derby girls who will be participating in an upcoming tournament.  Local artists then took the plaster casts and turned them into one-of-a-kind sculptures which will be auctioned off. The benefits go to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure® Madison Affiliate.

The project is a great idea to relate sex-positive body images with current issues. It’s a personal grudge of mine that our culture seems to think that if you are involved in any sort of licentious behavior (or behavior that just seems that way, like some view roller derby) you don’t get to be concerned with (or contribute money to) social needs. We did a Ropecast blood drive a while back, which was a good example - we gave away rope, but do you think if the participants had gone into the Red Cross and said “Hi, I’m here to donate a pint so I can get some bondage rope!” they would have been welcome? But, enough ranting…

My favorite is the one pictured below - “Joan of Anarchy” by artist Dian Wians - but “Stitch” by Jeff Fitzgerald is a close second.