I know, I know, you just can’t get enough nipple clamp action these days, can you? Believe it or not, I had asked for more than just the Deluxe Nipple Clamps that you see on Ms. Behavin’s nipples above. I had also requested some clover clamps, but they were out of stock (something which surprised me, since they are pretty intense toys).

The clever thing about clover clamps (pictured here with Sabrina Fox from day 3 of the Training of O is that the harder you pull them, the tighter they grip. This provides a little extra control of stimulation to both the top and bottom, either of whom can pull against the chains to increase sensation. Of course, the opposite doesn’t really hold true; these little fuckers grip pretty tightly no matter what.

Let’s digress just a little here and say: if you’re planning on using nipple clamps on your partner, use them on yourself first. If that offends your domly sensibilities, go and do it in the bathroom, or the closet, where no one can see. This way you’ll have an idea of how it feels…for you. Keep in mind that nipples are like snowflakes - every one is different, especially in terms of how sensitive they are and what that sensitivity engenders. I, for example, can handle a lot of pain on my nipples- but it doesn’t turn me on, it is annoying, and so I’ve never had the urge to have piercings, clamps, or even pinching, stroking, or licking on them. Just not erogenous for me. Other people may have other reactions - use yours as a starting point, and then pay attention to what the person you’re playing with prefers.

Sabrina Fox, as it happens, is going to be a guest co-host on the Ropecast I’m recording tomorrow. If you have any questions particular to her recent updates on the Training of O (or just questions for a hot fetish model in general) email them to me and we’ll work them in. Meanwhile, enjoy the free video excerpts from her experience with The Training of O:

Day 1 of the Training of O

Day 2 of the Training of O

Day 3 of the Training of O

Oh, the GRUE, the GRUE, what things you can do!

I would try to go more Seussical on you, but frankly I’m too frikkin’ tired. We arrived at GoodHandy’s at 9am on Saturday, and by 10:15 we’d started things going. I’m not sure if we remembered everything covered - the list of classes inadvertently got thrown away during cleanup - but here’s what JP, Phaedra, and I remember:

•  Rope 101: Intro to Bondage
• Gender and sexuality in the kink scene
• Tying the male form
• Scene names & difficulty coming out as kinky
• DIY Projects: making your own kinky gear
• Bellydance
• Graydancer’s Fishbowl (recorded, to be played on a near-future podcast)
• Substance use and BDSM
• Developing a Humiliation Play Scene
• Group therapy & aftercare for humiliation play scene
• Integrating poly relationships with BDSM
• Decorative long-term rope bondage
• Negotiating scenes across social barriers & taboos (cultural, class, race)
• Maintaining Scene Dynamics: the dance of BDSM

There were a couple of classes that we’d hoped to do - a rope skills share that I’d proposed, for examples, and another participant who’d wanted to talk about theatre & bdsm, but you can only do so much in 8 hours, y’know? Just as in the other GRUE’s, by the end there was a palpaple sense of connection and family in the air (in fact, as I sat there for the closing circle, a part of me felt really upset with myself for putting myself through this kind of goodbye to all these great friends yet again.

Later in the evening we went out into Nuit Blanche,  to do some decorative rigging & suspension with Lord Morpheous at a hip furniture store called “Koma.” I rigged the lovely Sascha in a traditional takate-kote style side suspension, cutting off her dress and handing out the pieces to the people going by like they were choice cuts of meat. Then I inverted her in the front window, a beautiful Calderesque turning, and in spite of one very rude group the crowds for the most part were incredibly nice and appreciative. It was additionally fun as we were rigging right next to JP and Phaedra, with Dart & his Boy also fresh from the GRUE.

We’d hoped to make it out to GoodHandy’s and the NorthBound Leather party after that, but got attacked by fantastic wine, unbelievable desserts - called Cthulthu, no less - and 80% dark chocolate at the aptly-named “Café Taste“. Funny moment in that night: as we sat down, the owner came over, and inquired as to how we liked Nuit Blanche. “Did you see the naked people in the window over at Koma?” he asked, and we smiled. “I was one of those naked people,” revealed Sascha, the glitter of her pasties peaking out from her dress’ neckline.

This was the fifth GRUE,  and it was again a unique confluence of experiences and skills brought together and meshed into a hothouse of creativity, connection, and exploring ourselves, each other, and our kink. Sascha came up with a great way to express the mood at the end: “What happened at the GRUE - goes everywhere.” We’ll be sharing everything from the words “firmth” & “rounth” (thanks, Andrea and Dart) to the truth about the taste of licorice (trust me, it’s apt) as we go our separate ways.

And it has come time, I believe, to connect even further - so I’ve taken advantage of the social networking available at Fetlife to create the GRUEp. So if you’ve been to one, are planning on one, or just want to find out what these GRUE people are about, please feel free to join, and keep the GRUEvy feelings flowing.

A special, heartfelt thanks to JP and the folks here in Toronto - and those who travelled from far away to attend - for making me welcome and bringing me back into the jaws of the GRUE.

I had the following comment on my ropecast blog, in reference to this picture:

It looks like you are doing a Demo here so it is perhaps forgivable, but if my sub ever put it’s hands on my Rope to pull itself up to ease it’s suffering like your white knuckled model is doing here…I would feel it my duty to make it very, very sorry for doing so. It would learn, it would remember, and it would NOT repeat this error.

Now, there are a lot of ways to respond to this - I confess, my visceral reaction is an indignant and self-righteous “Who the fuck are YOU to tell me how to run a scene?” But let’s be gracious and polite and use scalpels to dissect this beast, not harpoons and clubs.

How would you respond to that? Does he have a point? Is there an “accepted” way to run a rope suspension/scene? Come aboard the R.P.P. Ropecast group in Fetlife and let me know your thoughts…

No, I didn’t do the review…dammit, haven’t gotten on Claire or Nina’s mailing lists. Yet. But there’s a great review of the DVD over at Fleshbot, including a snippet of video. It’s pretty evident that you can learn as much from watching the way Claire handles the rope as from what she says - just watching the way she started that wrap improved my own style. This looks like a very worthwhile addition to your bondage library, not the least of which you get to learn while seeing Claire and Nina in quite delightfully naughty outfits.

Kind of ups the ante for Lqqkout & my presentation at the upcoming Spankfestival. I wonder how I’d look in purple leotard…

As a parent and also a sex educator, I have a soft spot for parents doing alternative things while also raising their kids. And while I’ve never met her, I’ve enjoyed and admired the work of Catalina, a sex blogger and Mom who has run smack into some really rotten prejudices and double dealing.

Here’s the link for the full story: Catalina Loves Her Daughter. What is comes down to is that it’s not enough for the school to punish her for what they consider to be distasteful behavior - they are also taking it out on her daughter, which from a Christian school seems really reprehensible in that Damn-I-Hate-Hypocrites kind of way. So keep in mind if you donate to the raffle (she’s raffling off museum prints from Lochai’s WEAM exhibit) you are not giving the money to Catalina - you are actually giving it to her daughter, and proving that a community of pervs cares more about her education than an administration full of assholes.

WWJD, indeed. My bet is he’d buy a buttload of raffle tickets, and then make sure that he won all the prints…and then multiply them, of course, so there’s enough for everyone, just like in the parable of the loaves & bitches. Right, Padre Pugno?

I’ve been told by some that I really ought to have an “appearances” page of places I’m going, since I travel so much. I’ll get to that, really. But meanwhile, here’s a gig coming up soon:

BASIC ROPE SUSPENSION TECHNIQUE

Want to fly?

We all hear how dangerous suspension is, how it shouldn’t be done without proper supervision and experience and OSHA certification and and and…and it’s all true, to an extent. But the basic principles of suspension can be taught, learned, and mastered in a relatively short time, and that’s what Graydancer offers in this workshop. From hardpoint to soft body and all the ropes and knots in between, he will cover everything you need to know to put bodies of all kinds in the air safely and comfortably. Bottoms will learn what to expect when they go in the air, how to communicate effectively with the top, and techniques to manage and maximize their experience. With Graydancer’s direct hands-on assistance this workshop will help you get the knowledge and confidence to add this experience to your kinky repertoire.

Space is limited to eight participants (that includes tops and bottoms) to ensure focused instruction for the participants. Couples are recommended, but single participants will also be welcome, either as top, bottom, or switch.

Time: Saturday, August 16, 1pm - 3pm
Place: Private Residence in Minneapolis (address provided to registrants)
Cost: $50/couple, $30/individual. Please bring cash or check to workshop
To Register, Contact Graydancer at 608-628-2105 or email