Graydancer
The Rearing Head of the One True Way
Written by Gray Dancer on August 27th, 2008I had the following comment on my ropecast blog, in reference to this picture:
It looks like you are doing a Demo here so it is perhaps forgivable, but if my sub ever put it’s hands on my Rope to pull itself up to ease it’s suffering like your white knuckled model is doing here…I would feel it my duty to make it very, very sorry for doing so. It would learn, it would remember, and it would NOT repeat this error.
Now, there are a lot of ways to respond to this - I confess, my visceral reaction is an indignant and self-righteous “Who the fuck are YOU to tell me how to run a scene?” But let’s be gracious and polite and use scalpels to dissect this beast, not harpoons and clubs.
How would you respond to that? Does he have a point? Is there an “accepted” way to run a rope suspension/scene? Come aboard the R.P.P. Ropecast group in Fetlife and let me know your thoughts…
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AM
After reading that comment I think that they would hate to see a dear friend and play partner of mine bottom in a suspension scene. I’ve noticed that it doesn’t depend on the rigger, if her hands aren’t tied up she loves to grip onto the ropes. She states that it’s because it gives her hands some place to be. I believe that it’s also because she loves to feel the texture in her hands.
If the bottom holding onto the ropes is a sign of a bad scene then I’ve personally never been in a good suspension - yet have had some fantastic scenes
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… but if a sub was putting her hands on his (or, godforbid, HER) rope to, say, increase her suffering, that would be A-OK, yes?
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first off, the possessive form of “it” is “its,” not “it’s,” which is a contraction abbreviating “it is” or “it has.” in general, if one wants to forward a controversial opinion, one should first check one’s grammar, or lose the credibility of one’s ethos and argument. secondly, as a sub, my stomach turns to see the neuter, animalistic form “it” uniformly attributed us- words have a great power, and this word must only be used within a negotiated and consensual scene or power exchange. the bdsm community is doomed to fail, and will also damn its advancement in the public sphere and its protection from law and society, if doms cannot afford subs as a category their due reverence, or at least a token of that shown them by their partners. ultimately, though, the matter comes to this: it is only the foolish and transparent insecurity of a dom that prompts him or her to lash out at the practices of others for any presumed transgression but that which endangers safety and consensual practice. an experienced sub will note such weakness of character and avoid it at all costs, lest they should become the object used to remedy it. a good dom may only act out of personal confidence and security, and a bad dom out of malice and pervasive character flaws. such comments as posted here reflect solely on the speaker.
—s
2
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Wow….
You fucked up bad here man. How can you ever show your rope bag at another event? Man, & here I was thinking you were a good friend & rope brother but you went ahead & allowed “it” to touch the sacred ropes………
Hmmmmmmm guess that’s the difference between being a rope top & being the Master of Masters with the perfect slave named “it”. I really hope this person is either the best rigger in the world or uses a lifelike dummy for his suspensions.
One other thought here…. I hope he took one of your suspension classes so he actually knows what he is doing. Suffering “within” the ropes is one thing, suffering “because” of the ropes is another…..