Graydancer

...A kinky educator, performer, and activist for kinky sex, bdsm, and rope bondage

 
Graydancer's Bondage Workshop

“You Have Fan Mail!”

Written by Gray Dancer on February 2nd, 2008

This from B., a young woman who attended the Hot & Kinky workshop I presented to the Ann Arbor TNG last month.

“Just wanted to send you a thank you. Your presentation really spoke to me in a couple ways, and changed the way I viewed some things, even the way I approach certain aspects of BDSM relationships.
Had a scene with another very nice TNG member I’d never played with before, and afterward all I wanted to do was cuddle some boobies and chill out… but after a few minutes all I could hear was your voice chanting in my head, “Doms need aftercare too!” Went and checked with him, let him know I was OK, asked if he needed anything (he’d moved right on to the next scene suspending a girl, so I offered him some water, etc.)… he was pleasantly surprised, and so were a couple other people at the party. Reminded a couple subs there that scenes can be emotionally and physically draining for the tops too, and we all noticed a little uplift in the next couple parties in bottoms checking back with the tops after a scene.

So, your words are getting around ;). Thought you’d appreciate knowing that!

But mostly, your comment that problems happen, accidents and mistakes happen, but that it’s how the two people deal with them that determines whether they’re a good dom/sub.top/bottom/whatever… It was a good reminder, and it really let me reflect on some things and let go of some grudges I’d been holding. I’ve had a much easier time of scening since then, and I owe you a thank you.

So thank you so much for coming to speak to us. You inspired me, and I’m grateful. It was great chatting with you!”

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