So here’s the question: is this artist being irresponsible by portraying the use of various breath play techniques without educating people in the “why” and “how” of it?

Don’t get me wrong; I like the video. But I can’t help but wonder how many people will put saran wrap over themselves just to mimic…ah, well, Darwin’s will be done, I guess.

Life here at Regina’s Sexblogger Compound is everything you would expect - daily massages by dancing houri, turkish coffee served in the steam room, constant high-def surround-sound high-quality porn projected on the 17 plasma wall screens, only interrupted by the hurried consultations given to the sexerati connected to Regina through her network of Sex Revolutionistas (I believe that is what the original model for the Shadow’s network was based on).

And, of course, breakfast. Which we decided today would make a good contest, so go here (pretty much worksafe, except that there are sex toys on the table. Regina and I will give copies of our latest books ( mine, Nawashi, available at Lulu.com , and hers, Sex Rev 2.0, available through Amazon ) to the first person to correctly identify (by brand and model) the sex toys visible on the table in this picture:

A word of advice: we are serious about brand names, and keep in mind this is a Sex Tech writer’s table.

And yes, I do realize that there is no rope visible. It was busy holding the 13 hot bi babes in position 35 of the Cybernetic Cama S00tr@ under the table, just out of view.

Speaking of which, I should probably move them on to position 36…

It may be said that I spend a little too much time extolling the virtues of my sponsor, TwistedMonk.com . There is the well-known fact that the sexblog world is incestuous, but I like to think of it more as “taking care of our own” - such as the generosity of Regina Lynn during my stay here in L.A., or the camaraderie of people like the Queen of Spain or Melissa Gira or Viviane. And that’s just a recent few - in the past, even before I became a c-list kink celebrity, I’ve enjoyed the hospitality of Violet Blue, for example, who didn’t need to give me the time of day but made my initial visit to San Francisco an absolute joy.

These are good people.

But Monk. Monk is special. Monk is family; he is my brother that I should have had, and he is someone who could call me right now and say “I need you in Seattle!” and I’d be out the door hitchhiking up the coast in a second. Likewise, when my own life fell apart last January, he was there with a safe haven of family and unobtrusive support, giving me both work to occupy my hands and a place near the heater to share my pain. I cannot tell you how lucky I feel to have this man as my friend.

That being said, he also is my sponsor for the Ropecast. I do my best to pimp his stuff wherever I can - wearing his colors to the Blogworld party, for example, and handing out cards with his site on them. Spreading the gospel of love & orgasms through rope…I’m Guy Kawasaki to his Steve Jobs.

Now this could be difficult, if he were an idiot. If he tried to sell the equivalent of the Cube, for example. But he doesn’t. Instead, he maintains and increases the quality of his regular product, comes up with new products that are devious and pretty, and then comes up with things like this.

We want. We want stuff like this, stuff that is not only kinky but is…well, it’s not luxurious, but it’s not seedy, either. There’s a whole attitude about Monk’s business that reminds me of, say, Krispy Kreme or Harley Davidson. It says “Yes, we are more expensive, but that’s because we care about what we produce, and we’re not going to make you pay for the fact that we look good, too - just pay us what we’re worth, and we’ll let the rest speak for itself.”

It makes it easy to pimp his products where ever I go. And it makes me feel good to know that I am not just giving back ROI, not just helping other people find joy and intimacy through rope, but I’m also helping my brother fulfill his dream.

That, my friends, is family values.

How embarrassing. I put what I think is a provocative link & comment in the previous post, and what do I find the next day but that what it actually linked to was a picture of me and Leo Laporte. Which is, I have to say as a geek, way cool, but at the same time not the point I was trying to make. The link has been fixed, and the comment makes much more sense now.

I also had an interesting email from one of the people mentioned in that article, who politely requested that the link to her site be removed from mine. I don’t quite understand why (waiting to hear some explanation of her reasoning, just for my own curiousity) but of course I removed it immediately. It was a good opportunity to practice what I preached at the Ethics panel - that being the necessity to allow people to choose whether or not they are associated with the kinds of things I talk about.

So I removed the link, and it will remain removed no matter whether I hear from her or not. But I do hope to have some clearer understanding of why there is, again, such a stigma to consenting adults doing things with each other.

Meanwhile, I’m here in L.A. visiting Regina Lynn, and having a mini-vacation. Hoping to hook up with some rope friends, like Nytemagik and the Rope Addict, but main priority is spending tomorrow at the beach looking at the ocean.

And for those who keep wondering about the 10 Commandments of Kink, they are coming– I actually want to pitch them to either the Dominant View or Power Exchange Magazine first. I read them to Regina over breakfast, though, and she laughed a lot, so it looks like it will be worth the wait.

It’s interesting being the token kinky sex blogger.

I’m here at the Blogworld expo, and things are winding down. There’s one or two other workshops I want to go to, and really hoping that I’ll get to have an interview with the Queen of Spain, but really? I’ve been back and forth along the expo floor, and have the all the schwag I can carry.

Which leaves networking, right? We network at these things, make friends, enjoy the new connections, hope for the little steps we all take towards actually getting maybe paid, or at least recognized for what we do.

Didja click on that link? Didja? You may wonder, if you did, why I put it there, because hey, there’s no mention of anything I did on that page. Which is also funny, because later I’ll link to the digital video of that panel, and you’ll see that I actually had quite a bit to say about the subject of ethics. Probably talked too much, in fact, as there were many smarter people than me there.

But I don’t blame Jeremy. The fact is, this is not the freewheeling atmosphere of Podcast Expo; there is an entire mini-track called “Godblogcon”, and there is an immense focus on the monetization, and also on how to get started. There’s the usual “join OUR network” (in case you’re wondering, I’m most inclined to join the one whose President saw me and said “Oh, do you know Violet Blue?” And whenever I talk about my podcast (the description of which has changed from “rope bondage” to “alternative sexuality and adult sex education”) there is a moment of panic in the eyes of the person I’m talking to.

Most of the time there is this kind of battle that goes on inside of them, the battle between “Wow, this is a strange guy, in spite of his affable nature, and I’m really uncomfortable with this subject matter,” and “I can’t be impolite, I have to say the same things I usually say.”

Which can be amusing. One nice young lady (note: link to her site removed at her request) said “Really? I’ve been hoping to meet someone in that field!” (which I found possible, but kind of a strange reaction, and she did close the conversation rather quickly after I said “you know, a lot of bondage models could use the resources on your site…”) or the rep from Podango who said “Ah…so…what makes you the expert to podcast about that subject?” (“Um…I’m good at tying up people and giving them great sexual experiences and then talking to others about it in entertaining ways?”).

They’re very polite. They’re very nice. But it was literally concern over the reaction of the conservative bloggers that kept one potential model for last night’s party from being tied - and that was the only reason, because she had been looking forward to it. But she’s part of a startup, and as their CEO said “We’re young. We don’t need those kinds of problems.”

Those kinds of problems.

And I find myself wondering: Where are my compatriots? Aside from the Queen of Spain, I do not know of any other sex bloggers here. No Violet, no Melissa Gira, no Regina Lynn, no Rachel Kramer Bussel…just me. Did I miss the memo that said we were all skipping this conference? Why aren’t we having a sex bloggers roundtable? Why are we waiting for conferences that it’s more “safe” at?

This isn’t really a rant…I’m sure there are reasons. But it’s kind of scary that at the first blogworld there can be sessions like “Whose winning the war of the blogosphere - Right or Left?” (War? What war? Since when is it territorial? I thought it was this thing called FREE SPEECH…).

Off to the rest of the ‘con…

I’ve never met her, but we have many, many friends (and a few lovers, too) in common. Wishing I were at Black Rose to say hi, and at some point I’ll get to give her a hug and tell her how much I admire her work.

Barbara Nitke’s photo of Lolita Wolf’s Rope Work

Special thanks to Viviane for the link. Another person I’m looking forward to meeting in person

West Michigan Rope will be hosting the nationally reknowned Graydancer the weekend of December 8 in the Grand Rapids, MI area. Graydancer is the founder and host of the podshow the “Ropecast” which deals with
rope, kinky sex and alternative lifestyles. In addition he is a phenomenal performer and teacher of rope. He has a wonderfully artistic flair as well as a
wicked sadistic side. His presentations are informative, humorous and not to be missed.

He does an origional presentation called the GRUE… Graydancer’s Ropetactic Unconference Extravaganza. The unconference concept is a unique conference set up used in business and he has tailored it to kink groups and rope. This is not to be missed by rope enthusiasts and BDSM people in general. Our event will be the MI-GRUE !

Cost to the community is $25 a person for non WMR members. This is a great opportunity for the entire Indiana/Michigan kink community to come together, learn and enjoy time with this amazing presenter/educator.

This event is a PRE Registration event only. No registrations taken at the door. registration is limited, first come first serve basis. If you have any questions or wish info on registration, locations or where to send money please email us at dolphinguy_2000@yahoo.com We are proud to host this
event and look forward to seeing everyone.

Nawa*G, lilj & Master Samos
Founders & Co moderators
West Michigan Rope

TENTATIVE SCHEDULE
Friday December 7 -
7:30 PM Meet and Greet with Graydaner

Saturday December 8 -
9:00 AM - 5:30 PM Classes
(Bring lunch or we can pitch in cash/order out)
Dinner Break
7PM - Play Party

Sunday December 9 -
10:00 AM till noon - Brunch, (price includes brinch)
Decompression & Wrap up

To join West Michigan rope click here:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WestMichiganRope/

Just a quick follow-up to some further questions from Amy Gahran about when it may be ethical to withold information from readers.

Damon Pierce & Claire Adams did a suspension performance at the recent Kinky Kollege, and while I didn’t see it, I was surprised by what I heard. Without going into detail, what was described to me would have been dangerous and, to anyone but Claire Adams, highly improbable.

I asked them later, and they clarified what they’d done. It had used a different technique that the spectator hadn’t noticed, a technique that made a lot more sense to me.

Then she said something that made an impression. “I could have done it the other way. It’s really hard, but it’s possible.”

“But there are some things you don’t do in public spaces, out of responsibility for people who might try and copy you.”

I’d have to agree. I’ll admit freely that I don’t practice everything I preach. No, I won’t say what - that kind of defeats the purpose, nu? But in a blog about something that is potentially dangerous as BDSM, it behooves us to be on our best behavior in any situation where others may emulate.

“Kids, don’t try this at home…go over to your friends house & get THEM in trouble!”

It’s one of the questions I hear most from non-kinky people:

“Why?” Why would anyone want to have these horrible painful things done to them? Why would anyone want to serve someone else in what the rest of the world sees as degrading or debasing ways?

Well, in terms of service, a friend of mine (who is, hands down, the best service submissive I’ve ever seen, and that’s without ever actually seeing her in formal service) said it best: “I like helping people who are good at what they do be better.” I got just a taste of that as she spent some time with me in Madison; not just of her anticipating my needs, but fulfilling them gracefully and unobtrusively. She had the magic touch of handing me my keys, for example, when I was about to frantically search for them…and hand them to me in a way that did not make me feel like an idiot for losing them in the first place.

Or let’s take suspension play. The picture above will take you to a page of photos from Kink.com’s “The Training of O” series, which is about the development of a Master/slave relationship through very serious training. Yes, there are sexual elements to this, but if you’re only seeing the nekkid chick, you’re not paying very close attention. Madison Young, the subject of this particular gallery, shows her process for eroticizing service and also delves into just what it is that makes suspension so fun (hint: the answer is in the title of this post).

Since I know you’ve all been wondering how I’m going to make a living now on my own (”So…what do you do?” seems to be the question most asked these days) I thought I’d show you. Many, many thanks to Robolove3000 (and host of the Madison Dr. Sketchy’s) for bringing my vague idea to such beautiful life.

Tomorrow from 2-7pm I’ll be doing an “Ask the Rope Guy” and reading from Nawashi at the Milwaukee location of A Woman’s Touch. If you’re in town, stop in and say hi!