Comments on: Stigma http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/ A kinky educator, performer, and activist for kinky sex, bdsm, and rope bondage Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:24:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » Wait, how does this have anything to do with conforming? http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-8108 Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » Wait, how does this have anything to do with conforming? Wed, 14 Nov 2007 22:32:55 +0000 http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-8108 [...] been some discussion going on about sex bloggers within the larger social media community. See Graydancer’s post about his experience at the BlogWorld Expo, and Melissa Gira’s Sexerati post from today. (Why [...] [...] been some discussion going on about sex bloggers within the larger social media community. See Graydancer’s post about his experience at the BlogWorld Expo, and Melissa Gira’s Sexerati post from today. (Why [...]

]]> By: QofS http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-8074 QofS Wed, 14 Nov 2007 02:15:24 +0000 http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-8074 Finally making my way back around here to comment. It was a different con for sure. It had a very conservative feel to it from others I have attended. I found it interesting more people reacted well to me and seemed put off by you. As if to say, oh, a girl...a mom...well, that's different. When we both know its not. :( Finally making my way back around here to comment. It was a different con for sure. It had a very conservative feel to it from others I have attended. I found it interesting more people reacted well to me and seemed put off by you. As if to say, oh, a girl…a mom…well, that’s different. When we both know its not. :(

]]> By: You Can Tell Now That the Sex Bloggers Have Arrived : Sexerati: Smart Sex. http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-8071 You Can Tell Now That the Sex Bloggers Have Arrived : Sexerati: Smart Sex. Tue, 13 Nov 2007 22:31:15 +0000 http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-8071 [...] Stigma, said sexuality & kink educator Graydancer, of one of the first sex podcasts, Ropecast, checking in from BlogWorldExpo. [...] [...] Stigma, said sexuality & kink educator Graydancer, of one of the first sex podcasts, Ropecast, checking in from BlogWorldExpo. [...]

]]> By: Mark Yu http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-8064 Mark Yu Tue, 13 Nov 2007 15:10:27 +0000 http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-8064 Is it the kinky part that those people were uncomfortable with or just the sex aspect of what you represent? One of the my artists friends just had a show here in Austin and as usual we were trying to work in some of the more erotic pieces. The owner of the club/gallery was fine until he saw some rope. The piece was almost abstract and bondage was not really evident in it but just a glimpse of rope was enough for the guy to ban ANY rope at all. My friend told me he said, "Boobs and Pussy are fine. rope is not." Is it the kinky part that those people were uncomfortable with or just the sex aspect of what you represent?

One of the my artists friends just had a show here in Austin and as usual we were trying to work in some of the more erotic pieces. The owner of the club/gallery was fine until he saw some rope. The piece was almost abstract and bondage was not really evident in it but just a glimpse of rope was enough for the guy to ban ANY rope at all. My friend told me he said, “Boobs and Pussy are fine. rope is not.”

]]> By: Viviane http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7990 Viviane Sat, 10 Nov 2007 23:33:09 +0000 http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7990 Did you see how Keith Levenson of Vibrator.com was kicked out of the opening night party, for handing out Vibrator.com stickers: http://blog.vibrator.com/ If they're the stickers I'm familiar with they are totally innocuous. Sheesh. Did you see how Keith Levenson of Vibrator.com was kicked out of the opening night party, for handing out Vibrator.com stickers:

http://blog.vibrator.com/

If they’re the stickers I’m familiar with they are totally innocuous. Sheesh.

]]> By: Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » links for 2007-11-09 http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7961 Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » links for 2007-11-09 Fri, 09 Nov 2007 23:25:39 +0000 http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7961 [...] Ninja Sex Poodle & Ronin of Love… » Blog Archive » Stigma “It’s interesting being the token kinky sex blogger.” I can really relate to this. And I’m arguably not even ‘kinky.’ :P (tags: sex sexuality blogging blogs stigma bullshit) [...] [...] Ninja Sex Poodle & Ronin of Love… » Blog Archive » Stigma “It’s interesting being the token kinky sex blogger.” I can really relate to this. And I’m arguably not even ‘kinky.’ :P (tags: sex sexuality blogging blogs stigma bullshit) [...]

]]> By: Melissa Gira http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7960 Melissa Gira Fri, 09 Nov 2007 22:58:55 +0000 http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7960 I didn't attend, Gray, for the same reasons I don't attend most blog conferences: they are insufferably boring and filled with people who believe in "The Revolution of Media," when the only evidence I see is that more white, middle aged men who can afford to fly the world over have more opportunities to write about tech and politics. That's just not my idea of "revolution." But hell yeah to being there in the middle of it being yourself without apology. I can appreciate the "Did I miss the memo?" sentiment. It seems like sex bloggers are rallying to hit SXSW this year with a vengeance. It's got the best parties, even if they only did accept a handful of sex panels. But that said, I think it can be all too easy to say, "Hey we were pushed off to the side for talking about sex!" when honestly, most anything in blogging right now that isn't about politics or tech or money is getting the same treatment. We could turn into the sex blogger analogs of the "New Media Douchebags" (not my phrase, of course) who kneejerk go off on every possible slight as an opportunity to build a brand around themselves. Or we could focus on what we do well and do what you are doing this week, it sounds: show up without apology when we can, and tell the story for those who can't. In case it's not clear from all that up there: RIGHT ON! I didn’t attend, Gray, for the same reasons I don’t attend most blog conferences: they are insufferably boring and filled with people who believe in “The Revolution of Media,” when the only evidence I see is that more white, middle aged men who can afford to fly the world over have more opportunities to write about tech and politics. That’s just not my idea of “revolution.” But hell yeah to being there in the middle of it being yourself without apology.

I can appreciate the “Did I miss the memo?” sentiment. It seems like sex bloggers are rallying to hit SXSW this year with a vengeance. It’s got the best parties, even if they only did accept a handful of sex panels.

But that said, I think it can be all too easy to say, “Hey we were pushed off to the side for talking about sex!” when honestly, most anything in blogging right now that isn’t about politics or tech or money is getting the same treatment. We could turn into the sex blogger analogs of the “New Media Douchebags” (not my phrase, of course) who kneejerk go off on every possible slight as an opportunity to build a brand around themselves. Or we could focus on what we do well and do what you are doing this week, it sounds: show up without apology when we can, and tell the story for those who can’t.

In case it’s not clear from all that up there: RIGHT ON!

]]> By: Amy Gahran http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7958 Amy Gahran Fri, 09 Nov 2007 22:00:13 +0000 http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7958 Gray, you raise some great points. I'd encourage you to talk to the people who run blogworld to ask them to add some sex & relationship sessions next year, or perhaps a track. Hey, imagine the schwag then! If they say no, ask them why not, and blog it. - Amy Gahran Gray, you raise some great points. I’d encourage you to talk to the people who run blogworld to ask them to add some sex & relationship sessions next year, or perhaps a track.

Hey, imagine the schwag then!

If they say no, ask them why not, and blog it.

- Amy Gahran

]]> By: LqqkOut http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7956 LqqkOut Fri, 09 Nov 2007 21:46:46 +0000 http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7956 It became territorial when the politicians got blogs. Imagine a blogosphere that becomes commercialized like old media. Sure we've got NPR and PBS and public access, but seriously those are at the fringe for most people's perception... The blogs 'featured' on msn.com's search results are going to present a very singleminded cross section to be gobbled up by the internet illiterates. Everything I've read about blogging says 'appeal to your niche' instead of trying to appeal to everyone. I think you should have as much merit for knowing your audience as the creators of 'the (b)log cabin quilting club'. (hmm is blogcabin.com taken??) Due to my job situation, I'm particularly conscious of what people 'want to be associated with' and I agree that the general conservatism is a sad state of affairs. - LqqkOut It became territorial when the politicians got blogs. Imagine a blogosphere that becomes commercialized like old media. Sure we’ve got NPR and PBS and public access, but seriously those are at the fringe for most people’s perception… The blogs ‘featured’ on msn.com’s search results are going to present a very singleminded cross section to be gobbled up by the internet illiterates.

Everything I’ve read about blogging says ‘appeal to your niche’ instead of trying to appeal to everyone. I think you should have as much merit for knowing your audience as the creators of ‘the (b)log cabin quilting club’. (hmm is blogcabin.com taken??) Due to my job situation, I’m particularly conscious of what people ‘want to be associated with’ and I agree that the general conservatism is a sad state of affairs.

- LqqkOut

]]> By: Amber http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7955 Amber Fri, 09 Nov 2007 21:32:49 +0000 http://www.graydancer.com/2007/11/09/stigma/#comment-7955 As for why people aren't there - it may just be a conflation of bad timing for lots of people. I know for me, there is no way I could afford to fly out to Las Vegas right now, and even if I could, this is NOT a good time for me to be skipping town. As for why people aren’t there - it may just be a conflation of bad timing for lots of people. I know for me, there is no way I could afford to fly out to Las Vegas right now, and even if I could, this is NOT a good time for me to be skipping town.

]]>